Why Gay Marriage Is A Bad Idea!

I "borrowed" this from someone on Facebook & it was just too sarcastic not to post!! You all know I love my gays & I stand up for their right to divorce just like the rest of us. I'm not the biggest fan of marriage in general but I don't stand in the way of my friends who want to enter into that union, in fact I usually pay a lot of cash to participate because I love them & want them to be happy & if/when the divorce comes around I'll help them burn the personal belongings of the ex. I just don't understand why I can't have this same privilege with my gay friends too, it's really not fair & in all honesty...gay marriage would be one of the best ways to stimulate the economy. Gay men have impeccable taste & would likely spend hefty sums for their nuptials & if a divorce was needed that's again money to stimulate the economy, why can't every state see that?

1) Being gay is not natural. Real Americans always reject unnatural things like eyeglasses, polyester, and air conditioning.

2) Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.

3) Legalizing gay marriage will open the door to all kinds of crazy behavior. People may even wish to marry their pets because a dog has legal standing and can sign a marriage contract.

4) Straight marriage has been around a long time and hasn't changed at all; women are still property, blacks still can't marry whites, and divorce is still illegal.

5) Straight marriage will be less meaningful if gay marriage were allowed; the sanctity of Brittany Spears' 55-hour just-for-fun marriage would be destroyed.

6) Straight marriages are valid because they produce children. Gay couples, infertile couples, and old people shouldn't be allowed to marry because our orphanages aren't full yet, and the world needs more children.

7) Obviously gay parents will raise gay children, since straight parents only raise straight children.

8) Gay marriage is not supported by religion. In a theocracy like ours, the values of one religion are imposed on the entire country. That's why we have only one religion in America.

9) Children can never succeed without a male and a female role model at home. That's why we as a society expressly forbid single parents to raise children.

10) Gay marriage will change the foundation of society; we could never adapt to new social norms. Just like we haven't adapted to cars, the service-sector economy, or longer life spans