I Don't See It

Ok people, what is the big hub bub about this Robert Pattinson dude? I think he needs a hair brush & I just don't find him attractive. I mean, he was in Harry Potter, how can any dude that was in a Harry Potter movie ever be considered hot? I think he looks like the typical douche bag but who knows, maybe with fangs in the new Twilight movie(s) he'll be hotter. After my new love for True Blood I now find men with fangs very sexy, well, hot guys with fangs are very sexy anyway!! Now I just sound like "one of them fang bangers".

Why Now?

Last night I was driving home from picking up my car at the mechanic & having dinner with Doug when I got a phone call from an out of state number, so I didn’t answer it. Previously in the day I got a few calls from an out of state number & they were trying to fax my cell phone so I assumed this was the same thing. I started wondering if some company had a misprint on their website & now all these people would be faxing me but I quickly discovered that I was wrong. The mystery caller left a message & I listened to it & it was some noise & then a hang up so I figured it was a wrong number. The caller calls again & I again ignore the call because I assume that they dialed the wrong number again but again, they leave a message. I get stopped at a red light & decide to check the message…big mistake!

I suddenly hear the voice of bad relationship past and honestly come very close to vomiting, right in my car. My heart dove into my stomach like it was trying to hide and I actually started breathing erratically & for fear of hyperventilating I talked myself down. I went ahead & listened to the whole message which went something like “hey, how’s it going, I hadn’t talked to you in a while so I thought I’d see how you had been and what’s new and all, call me when you can either at this number or mine” the second the message was over I deleted it. This ex is the only ex I have who makes me feel this way, I have not spoken to him in a year and a half & have not seen him in 2 years, actually, almost exactly 2 years and I guess I kind of hoped I’d never hear from or see him ever again. Now, I’m on excellent terms with all of my living exes except for 2 & 1 has little to do with our relationship he’s just a really bad friend & I don’t have room for that. This guy though, made my life a living hell for so long, he treated me like crap, he made me feel bad about myself, he used me, and so on but obviously there were things that were good enough for me to stay until one day I just woke up. Suddenly, I realized that none of it was his fault it was all mine, my fault for allowing the behavior to continue so I ended it, for real ended it & that was that. I wasn’t as upset as I thought I would be about the split either, I actually felt much lighter & free & I loved it! Not long after that my life totally started turning around, I got a great job & started dating someone else which was good for a short time, then we opted for friendship instead. About 6 months after the split I hardly even thought of that bastard, I deleted him from my cell phone & my email address book, as far as any stranger would be concerned I don’t even know the douche bag & then poof, here he comes to ruin my day yet again! Do assholes like this have some sort of freaking radar or something? I mean, I’m very happy these days personally & professionally and then bam, here comes this shit! He was probably just chilling at home watching TV & then ding “I think Kel is happy, let’s ruin her night”.

I immediately called Wendy all in a frazzle & she talked me down. I have decided that I am going to call him, tell him I’m happy, wish him the best & leave it at that. I don’t want bad blood but I don’t want him thinking he can just roll back up in my life & treat me the way he did before. I am a different person than I was then but I know how he his & I don’t trust him, I don’t believe anything that comes out of his mouth but I know how he works. He’s one of these dudes that is like a chick if you will, batting his eyelashes acting all innocent & sweet & buttering you up to stab you when you aren’t expecting it then makes you think it was all your fault. Well, I’m older & wiser & refuse to fall for some bullshit antics like these. I wasn’t going to call at all but I realize that if I don’t he’s just going to call again in 6 months & make me feel like this all over again so today, I will return that effing call (thanks to another friend who still has his number) & make nice & then move on with my life leaving this situation a closed book that I never want to read again.

Bitter, Party of One...Your Table Is Ready

So I was surfing a dating site today on my lunch break & happened to stumble upon the profile of someone that I dated for like a minute about 12 years ago. The fella who I will not name thinks very highly of himself which is pretty funny because he's not all that (trust me) shit, he's not even close. I find great humor in him stating his profession as "rock star" well if he were really a rock star do you think he would need to be on a dating site looking for some action? Exactly. Anyway, here is his "about me", enjoy everyone & have a great weekend!!! I'm off to see NKOTB again tomorrow here in "the D" and I'm super excited!! Hopefully I'll have some pics to post.

So the douche bags that run this website removed 7 of my pictures because in one of them I was wearing a Halloween mask? So the other 6 that were perfect head shots weren't good enough? With that being said lets tell the truth about the "real" purpose of this website...

First, lets talk about the quality of women on here...I break it down to this...Some of the girls are fat(thank God for the headshot rule) The fat girls wouldn't get me to jerk off and throw it at them...and I think I speak for most dudes....so of course they have to crowd this site to get a date, get laid, or (lmao) find a boyfriend...Then there are a lot of single moms...young/old doesn't matter you are divorced, never married with baggage....Not interested...I don't care what you look like....When you are naked I don't want to see your wrecked body, or have to close my eyes cause I was bored and pretend you are Jessica Alba with D tatties....Next just plain ugly...Obviously you still haven't mastered photo shop and if you have...Guess what? You are still ugly...Hence your reason for being here....Then there is the small (like a ****ing grain of sand) group of girls that are goodlooking...Most of them never write you back anyways so what is the point? I realize I am far from a super model, but when I say hi...you can take 30 ****ing seconds to write back....I file them under stuck up ****es...No body would talk to them in real life cause they are ****es so to them hopefully they can kick around some dumbass from this site...Not me....Then the fake profiles...The girl in the bikini or smokin hot chick that has no reason to be on here in the first place...Obviously some dude who is bored, or some fat chick messing with guys to get revenge on them dissing her...Listen honey I didn't force the Oreos down your throat so quit wasting sever space...I dunno what is funnier the fake profile or the dumb **** that responds to it....

Now lets get to the real reason we (meaning men and women are on here) to get laid...Really? A first date were we can go on a walk? Have dinner? Talk? lmao? You are just gonna end up ass over ankles at some dudes place naked so skip the part were we spend money and get to "know you." Ladies do you really think you are gonna find a future husband or boyfriend on here? How naive? So don't put your are tired of games, looking for prince charming, blah blah blah...Cause you are not gonna find it on here....See the problem is no body is ever willing to talk about why they are really here...Men and women alike try a mask it with the hangout, or editing to no hook ups or sex...But really that is all they want...Fatties, single moms, ugly chicks, and even your occasional **** all need to get some sometime...So the birth of this comical website....

Stop before you get your panties in a bunch and decide to write me with a hateful message...I realize I am an ***hole...I don't need some chick with a mooseknuckle and b-i-t-c-h t-i-t-s to message me and tell me that..Feel free to send your opinions I guess..

Fricken Pumper!

So yesterday after work I stopped & grabbed a sub & then popped over to the gas station to throw a few bucks in the tank. When I pull in the right side of pumps is full so I go to pull around and see a dude in a pickup truck pumping gas, this son of a bitch is blocking both pumps! His gas tank is right at the beginning of the bed of the truck and the front of his truck is blocking pump #1 and the bed is blocking pump #2, which is the pump he is using, therefore he has that hose stretched pretty damn far to get to the tank door. He could have easily backed up to allow someone to use pump #1 & make it easier on himself but did he? No the bastard did not! He stood there filling up his tank & yapping on his cell phone (which I secretly hoped would cause a shock & his truck would blow up teaching him a very important lesson) while myself & another car were waiting to access the pumps. The other car had an advantage though, they had accessed the pumps via the other driveway so they backed up bumper to bumper with the pick-up & waited until he pulled out (forward toward me). I’ve done the illustration you see here via powerpoint to attempt to get the point across. I know you have all been in these situations but this seems to be happening to me more & more lately & this gas station I go to is already small & cramped with only 4 pumps & nowhere to do the “loop around” to pump on the other side. Finally someone on the other side left & I was able to do the 3 point turn around & back in on the, meanwhile giving the bastard a dirty look! Basically I just ask you all to not be assholes & leave room for other pumpers at the station!