Beauty Secret?

Saw this ad today & it confused me...is the beauty secret of how to look 10 years older, more wrinkled & depressed with bee stung lips?  There's no way I'm clicking that ad, no thanks!!

Hi, I'm crazy & want to warn you about another crazy person!

The thrills of dating sites! So I was on this local site the other day which I don't check very often & I saw that I had a message & when I opened it noticed it was from a chick & trust me this isn't the first time a girl has messaged me either looking to date me or wanting me to date her & her boyfriend.  I opened the message since the title was PLEASE READ so I thought maybe she worked for some singles group & was organizing some function.  Anyway, I open the message & get this:

My name is Crazygirl and I have some things to share with you before you make a huge mistake. Crazyguy (aka datingsitehandle) was my fiancé/boyfriend up until last Thursday, we were supposed to be married on Sept 26, 2009 and I have the wedding contractual agreement along with payment verification to prove this. Wednesday evening I discovered Crazyguy has been lying to me and several other women. He has been writing to them and deceiving them that he is single and looking. Furthermore, Crazyguy has been deceiving me that everything is okay between us, lying that he isn't giving his telephone number out to women or asking them for dates, and saying that there aren't any women who are writing to him that are worth his time.

The truth is Crazyguy and I were having “issues” within the last week because he felt I didn't have enough time for him. Unfortunately I am a very busy person, I am a resident surgeon with a local hospital and this often lends to me not having the time that I'd like to have. I thought everything was okay between us and foolishly I allowed Crazyguy to lie to me. For days I've been questioning what he was doing on the dating site and he said just chatting. I believed him. I re-added my profile to the site as well in order to figure out what he was doing. Crazyguy assured me that I was all that he wanted, that there were no women on the site he was chatting with, no women he'd wanted, and wasn't giving his telephone number out.

Back to the point...Last evening I realized that I had Crazyguy's password to the site and I went into his profile. I discovered that he was sending messages back and forth with several other women passing out his number, asking for dates, and deceiving them about his current dating status. When I addressed his deceptions to him he first lied about it and then he finally became angry, verbally abusive, threatened me, and then we ended things. In the end he did admit some of his lies but he is very foolish, and perhaps I am more, to think I didn't know about all the other “little” lies. Throughout this he has lied to me about what he has said to other people, to my friends, and even small things like what he was doing.

Technically he is a free man and I wish any woman good luck with him but I wouldn't consider him a trustworthy person. As recent as last Thursday morning we were planning a lunch date and to spend this weekend together (I have this saved in emails), as recent as Wednesday night he was sending me flirty notes through the dating site, I have at least one email a day declaring his love for me and Wednesday night on the phone he was professing his feelings for me. We were even planning to try to get pregnant last weekend and this weekend.

Without spilling everything out I just wanted to warn you, and the other women he may be writing to, about his lies and deceptions. Is this really the type of person, and trouble, you'd want in your life? I know what he'd say, the same thing any man who has been caught in multiple lies would say... she's crazy, she's psycho, I never saw her, or a myriad of other deceptions in order to avoid taking responsibility for his actions. He's even gone as far as to claim my pictures are not me, we've never met face to face, and he doesn't know Crazygirl is my name. Who proposes to someone they've never met? Who professes their love so strongly to someone they've never seen? The bottom line is that if a person like this would lie to me, he'll lie to you.

I have proof of everything I am writing to you here. I have voice mails, emails, dating site love notes, Facebook messages in the multitudes, wedding contracts, even emails to my father asking to marry me and several other things to prove that everything I am saying is the absolute truth. Just whatever you chose to do with this please be aware of what he is and has done.

Crazyguy comes off as an honest and sincere man but truthfully it's all an act. He has made-up multiple lies to tell people and I wouldn't put it past him again.

If you need to contact me for proof or anything my email is shehonestlygaveher@email.com That email address is also my Facebook.

Thank you and good luck in your search. -Crazygirl

I did respond to her with this:  Thanks for the message but I have no idea who you are speaking of, I don't keep messages once I tell someone I'm not interested. I'm a little shocked that you are surprised though...you were about to get married & were trying to have a baby yet both of you were still on this site (a dating site for single people) last week? That's probably not the best way to be committed to someone. Good luck to you as well, take care!!

I never heard back from crazy girl but it sounds to me like he's not the only one to avoid here, who the eff works on getting pregnant before even getting married? Sure, it happens by mistake all the time that people get pregnant before they get married but I don't know any woman who would choose to be pregnant for their wedding...even if it was only a month, what fun is that? 

Who Does That?

I can't believe I forgot to mention this dress in my Emmy review, Victoria Rowell (have no idea what she was/is in) opted to sport an Obama dress.  Seriously?  She looks like a total fool & I would love to know what he thought of it!!

Just in time for the holidays!!!

Thank God they finally came out with this, I'm sure tons and tons of little girls have been asking for a pole dancing doll & now they can have one!  This has to be one of the worst things ever & I totally blame Miley Cyrus & her pole dancing stint at the Teen or Kids Choice Awards (or whatever the hell it was) for it.  The only thing I'm now thinking is why the eff didn't I think of this?

No More D.O.

Just thought I'd advise everyone that the owner of the Double Olive in Dearborn is a complete fuck wad (yet again) & I will never...ever, set foot in that bar again, not even if you offer me $. Well, once the bar changes owners & trust me sooner or later, it will change owners, at that time I will consider going back but so long as Joe has anything to do with it I'm not sinking to the level of patronizing that establishment. Those who know the story & reason behind me not going there anymore will hopefully follow my lead & for those who don't...just trust me that Joe & everything that goes on in that bar is SHADY!!! I always knew that he was a total douche bag but I really had no idea that he was training some of his staff to follow his lead. Who the fuck does he think he is anyway? He's just a fat junkie bastard who looks like the lead singer of Creed & uses his employees to do his dirty work. Well Joe, go fuck your face, I really look forward to your business going under :)

Spencer Thinks He's A Celebrity

And he's rapping about it...WTF?! These 2 are such a mess, check out this article from Us for more info & a link to Spencer's, I'm sorry "The Great White's" new hot track, lol.

Peeve O' The Day

So I get up to go to the bathroom & grab a cup of coffee & when I return there is a file folder in my chair, this is the 3rd time in 2 weeks this has happened. There are 6 clearly labeled inboxes in my cube & my chair is not one of them! I don't understand how someone thinks that placing work in the inbox for my ass is going to get their work done. What if I hadn't seen it? I could be sitting on the folder for days on end & then they would come to me & say did you ever get to that stuff I left for you? I would respond "what stuff"? "The stuff I left in your chair last week". I would look at them puzzled and then stand up & say "oh my God jack ass I never even saw this sitting here"!!! Maybe I should do that...what do you think?

Hasselbitch is Pregnant Again

Poor kid!! I can't stand this chick, I really wish she would just go back to being a nobody & leave the American public at peace. She said that she was pregnant for a couple months & had no idea, she kept saying she had...get this...electionitis. WTF is that supposed to be? She also said she realized that it wasn't that, she was "knocked up". What a very lady like statement to make about yourself & your unborn child. I hope the baby is a Democrat & comes out wearing an Obama t-shirt!!

Jessica Simpson Is Fat, Probably From All The Chili!

Ok so it was reported that Jessica Simpson had gained some weight and her sister was all pissed that Fox News would report such awful things. Well, personally, it's not the fact that she stopped working on her arms or chose to wear such un-flattering clothing, it's the fact that all of this was discovered at her most recent "concert" which took place at a freaking chili cook-off in Florida?! I could care less if she ate the whole lot of Little Debbie snacks at the grocery store, because the less skinny girls there are running around the better I look but WTF happened to this chicks career? If I had to go from being an "it" girl to performing at chili cook-offs, I'd retire!! To see all the pics click here and to read her sister's opinion, click here.

Fist This!

I don't know how I missed this earlier this week, it's freaking hysterical!!

BTW lady, it's called a fist bump not fisting!! Fisting is something that only professionals who are being paid should really endure although I know that plenty of people participate in the activity that don't get paid for it & can I just say...OUCH!! If you aren't sure what fisting is you may want to check out some hard core porn :)

Facebook Customer Service SUCKS!

Ok, so I joined Facebook not that long ago & had been enjoying using it quite a bit & had actually met up with all kinds of people that I hadn't heard from in years & I mean people I actually like, not idiots that I haven't seen in years because I chose not to see them. So anyway, when I arrived in Tennessee at my parent's house I jumped online to check my Facebook & I couldn't log in, by the way this was on Monday, December 22nd. So for some weird reason it's telling me that my password is incorrect but I know that it isn't because I was looking at my Myspace page at the time & I use the exact same login for both so I don't forget it. I try logging in numerous times only to be told that my e-mail address isn't on file & I can't log in. I check my e-mail from the account I used to attempt to log in & there is my Facebook confirmation email so I know it's the right address plus I know it's right because I'm looking at my Myspace page. I decide to notify Facebook of the issue & the next day I get an email to my address that they said was invalid asking me to reply to verify that is in fact my email address, so I do. I never heard back from them prior to leaving to come back to Detroit on the 29th...7 days! So I arrive back in the D & decide to try to access it at home because I'm probably still logged in so I go to the site & bam I'm in. I check my personal information & the login info that is shown is the login info I was using in TN so I chalk it up to things not working right in the south & carry on with my life. A week later I'm back at work & I go to login to Facebook & it's the same thing all over again so now I'm like WTF? I go home & change my password & verify my email address is correct & I log out, I try to log in using the updated information & it happens all over again..."this e-mail address is not on file"....are you kidding me? So at this point I'm furious...it has been 15 days & I can no longer log in at all on any computer and I cannot find a "contact us" link anywhere on the site. I opt to reply to the email they sent me again & wait 24 hours & get no response so I Google "Facebook contact us" and I get a link to contact them via e-mail on their site & I send them a message...I check yesterday (24 hours later) and have no response so I email them the same exact message again & today I still have no response! It has been just shy of 3 weeks & their "customer service" department has not responded to any of my messages. I think this is freaking bull shit & in my 31 years of life I have never had such poor customer service. I get better service at TJ Maxx & ladies, you know what I mean by this, I am thoroughly disappointed with Facebook, this would never happen with Myspace...ever!!! Just because the site is free doesn't give them the right to ignore the people using it, they claim to be one of the best sites around for finding old friends & helping your professional life yet they completely ignore their users. If they ever respond or get the issue fixed I may just close my account...why would I, or anyone for that fact want to be associated with a company who doesn't care about their customers?

Worst Day of the Year

So today is "bring a kid to work day" and since I have no time left I couldn't take the day off! Luckily we close early & I got free lunch out of the deal but I got here at 8 & the kids were here & by 9 I was ready to jump out the window. The kids were sent on a scavenger hunt through the office, they were sent out into cubeville to rifle through everyone's things & take stuff. I was of course working and up and down printing stuff so I walk out of my cube & there is a large group of kids heading right for me so I stop & they are all looking behind them & 1 walks right into me, WTF? After I moved & got away from them all I can hear is screaming & the thumping of 20 children running around our cubes. Now I know the kids just want to have fun & stuff but (at the risk of sounding like Joe) isn't that a liability? What if that girl had run into me with the hanger in her hand & I got hurt or what if I ran into one of them with a pen & they got hurt? Personally I think bring a kid to work day should be canceled everywhere, because it isn't like the parents actually spend the day with their kids so what the hell is the point in bringing them? To me the day would mean coming to work with your parent & seeing what they do at work to earn the money that buys them all the things they want, not playing with other kids who were also dropped off by their parents who are in their offices working. Kids have much less sense of the importance of working & earning money for the things that they want than we did & it just keeps getting worse. I'm sure all kids aren't like that but my point is that the whole point of bring a kid to work day is totally overlooked these days, the parents seem to just see it as a day that they don't have to pay for day care.

Oh No They Didn't!!

Heidi & Spencer & his flesh colored beard got married in Cabo on November 20th. First of all, who gets married on a Thursday & 2nd of all she said as soon as they said their vows she couldn't stop crying. You know why? That's right, she knew at that very moment she had made the worst decision ever & that her life was officially over! Apparently she didn't tell her parents but she did call her mom before it went down & said something was up & her mom (because she's smart) asked if they were breaking up! Anyway, Spencer said after Heidi read him some passages from the Bible like "love thy wife" when they were on some Mexican getaway he told her she should start planning their wedding again. Notice how he said she should start planning...I'm sure that is why they eloped, either that or because she totally effing pregnant! Look at that pic, why would she wear a flowy dress when everything she wears is always skin tight? Also, notice how his arms are around her belly? Also, what is with the ring? on her finger...it looks like electrical tape. She has to be pregnant, it looks like her belly is bigger than her boobs & with those implants & her skinny body she must be like 5 months by now!!! Let me point out how they had a "secret" ceremony but of course didn't forget to invite Us Weekly!

Banana Bunker or Taco Tickler?

Check out this handy new gadget. Watch the video & how they have a hard time keeping a straight face while discussing the "innovative design" of the gadget. It's completely ridiculous but it is ribbed...so I guess it just may be as "functional" as they say!! I about died when I saw this, I wondered if it was a practical joke & I would just love to see whomever it is that designed this item, she's probably single & loves bananas (huh huh). No wonder it was the talk of the morning & they claim that it's one of those items that you never knew you needed until you had it!!!

Happy Birthday, Have A Ticket

So Doug & I go out to breakfast this morning & as we are pulling back up at the house what is waiting for me? That's right an effing ticket! Umm, excuse me, what the hell is this for? Well, this apparently is for parking on the side street on the 3rd garbage day of the month when they say they are picking up leaves but don't or some such shit. Well guess what assbag...I don't live here, there are no signs posted ANYWHERE along my route to this house so how in the hell would I know about this stupid law? What, do they think that I get the Press & Guide to keep up on my laws & rules even though I no longer live here? This my friend is what I call bull-shit & thankfully, Doug offered to take care of it because I'm sorry, I'm not paying a ticket for some rule that I don't know exists, that there is no proof of anywhere, and that didn't exist when I lived here less than one year ago. I don't think it is even the slightest bit ok to ticket a non-resident for a non-posted law that they unknowingly disobeyed. Oh, and they gave me a ticket on my birthday about 5 years ago as well, for parking in a closed bank window station along with 3 other cars who didn't get a ticket. This city can go f**k its face :)

Hairstylist Gets Hit by Photag

Ok so I get this headline in my daily Us report & I check the article & read it to find out that poor Ken Paves (hairstylist to the stars) was rushed to the hospital after being hit in the face with a camera while exiting some restaurant with Jessica Simpson. I felt so bad for Ken, as the article said that he was rushed to the hospital because blood was trickling down his face, then I clicked on the link to the video of the "chaos" and there were photos of Ken's face posted ahead of the video. I died laughing when I saw the "injury", dude, it looks like a paper cut, no joke...it's a very small cut with a little blood present & they went to the ER? WTF? I then watched the video & you can't even see the injury take place, you just see Ken wiping blood off of his forehead when he gets in the car. That must be what you get for hanging out with a washed up celeb & her annoying friend Casey. The funniest part of the whole thing is the title of the article that has the photos & video. Click here for the photos, video, and stupid article title.

This Makes No Sense

So I don't know if you guys have seen these or not but the digital signs on the freeway have been sporting a phrase "fall is here don't veer for deer". Ok, I don't understand this one bit. Are they suggesting that we just hit them? Is the state not aware of the fact that hitting a deer at 70 mph on the Lodge will kill not just the deer, but you as well? I'm sure they have these signs posted to make people aware that deer might be taking the freeway rather than the woods in the coming months but asking you not to veer for one is like asking you to commit suicide. I love deer & think they are very cute but I would veer to avoid hitting one to avoid totalling my car & possibly ending up in the hospital, not because it's cute. I think bunnies are cute too but if one ran out in front of me on the freeway I'd run thumper right over & sure I'd feel bad but other than maybe some fur in my grill it wouldn't ruin my car. So I say let's change the phrase to "fall is here, don't hit others while veering for deer" because you have to veer to avoid the deer, the key is not veering into someone else. I think Michigan needs to find someone else to come up with these clever slogans for these signs, god knows half the state is unemployed & I'm sure someone out there is a little more bright than whomever came up with this one!!!

Why Now?

Last night I was driving home from picking up my car at the mechanic & having dinner with Doug when I got a phone call from an out of state number, so I didn’t answer it. Previously in the day I got a few calls from an out of state number & they were trying to fax my cell phone so I assumed this was the same thing. I started wondering if some company had a misprint on their website & now all these people would be faxing me but I quickly discovered that I was wrong. The mystery caller left a message & I listened to it & it was some noise & then a hang up so I figured it was a wrong number. The caller calls again & I again ignore the call because I assume that they dialed the wrong number again but again, they leave a message. I get stopped at a red light & decide to check the message…big mistake!

I suddenly hear the voice of bad relationship past and honestly come very close to vomiting, right in my car. My heart dove into my stomach like it was trying to hide and I actually started breathing erratically & for fear of hyperventilating I talked myself down. I went ahead & listened to the whole message which went something like “hey, how’s it going, I hadn’t talked to you in a while so I thought I’d see how you had been and what’s new and all, call me when you can either at this number or mine” the second the message was over I deleted it. This ex is the only ex I have who makes me feel this way, I have not spoken to him in a year and a half & have not seen him in 2 years, actually, almost exactly 2 years and I guess I kind of hoped I’d never hear from or see him ever again. Now, I’m on excellent terms with all of my living exes except for 2 & 1 has little to do with our relationship he’s just a really bad friend & I don’t have room for that. This guy though, made my life a living hell for so long, he treated me like crap, he made me feel bad about myself, he used me, and so on but obviously there were things that were good enough for me to stay until one day I just woke up. Suddenly, I realized that none of it was his fault it was all mine, my fault for allowing the behavior to continue so I ended it, for real ended it & that was that. I wasn’t as upset as I thought I would be about the split either, I actually felt much lighter & free & I loved it! Not long after that my life totally started turning around, I got a great job & started dating someone else which was good for a short time, then we opted for friendship instead. About 6 months after the split I hardly even thought of that bastard, I deleted him from my cell phone & my email address book, as far as any stranger would be concerned I don’t even know the douche bag & then poof, here he comes to ruin my day yet again! Do assholes like this have some sort of freaking radar or something? I mean, I’m very happy these days personally & professionally and then bam, here comes this shit! He was probably just chilling at home watching TV & then ding “I think Kel is happy, let’s ruin her night”.

I immediately called Wendy all in a frazzle & she talked me down. I have decided that I am going to call him, tell him I’m happy, wish him the best & leave it at that. I don’t want bad blood but I don’t want him thinking he can just roll back up in my life & treat me the way he did before. I am a different person than I was then but I know how he his & I don’t trust him, I don’t believe anything that comes out of his mouth but I know how he works. He’s one of these dudes that is like a chick if you will, batting his eyelashes acting all innocent & sweet & buttering you up to stab you when you aren’t expecting it then makes you think it was all your fault. Well, I’m older & wiser & refuse to fall for some bullshit antics like these. I wasn’t going to call at all but I realize that if I don’t he’s just going to call again in 6 months & make me feel like this all over again so today, I will return that effing call (thanks to another friend who still has his number) & make nice & then move on with my life leaving this situation a closed book that I never want to read again.

As If Trig Wasn't Bad Enough

I learned the full name of Sarah Palin's son Trig today...this is not a joke. His name is Trig Paxson Van Palin and why would anyone do that to their kid? Especially a special needs child with Down Syndrome, well the answer is simple, Sarah is a huge Van Halen fan. Come the eff on! Is this really the kind of person that we want running our country? Let's not forget that John McCain is 5,000 years old so the chances of her being President are HUGE! As if her brood's names aren't already bad enough just first name alone...I feel bad for them because you know they are made fun of constantly for their names & now that their mom is in the National public eye it's only going to get worse. Best of luck to her kids making it through this election unscathed!!

Random Story

So last night I'm at my friend's house & someone else there said that his TV had an odd color to it & he said it was probably because it was dirty. I told him to clean it & he asks what to use, I suggest Windex of course & he says "no, I remember them saying not to use Windex" so I ask what did you use the last time you cleaned it? He thinks for a minute & says "I think a wet rag" and I say "you think, when was the last time you cleaned it".

Him- I can't remember
Me- How many times have you cleaned it
Him- Once
Me- When did you buy this
Him- 1998
Me- Shut the Fuck up! This TV is 10 years old & it's been cleaned once? What the hell is wrong with you? You should clean the TV at least once a month but more like once a week.
Him- Why?
Me- Walked away.

Honestly, I can be pretty dirty & messy but cleaning your TV once in 10 years is just insane! When I lived there I was lax on cleaning my TV (and everything else), but I did it about once every 2 to 3 months & in 2 months it would get nasty dirty!! I finally told him that he might want to try a hammer & chisel to clean it rather than a wet rag and he wonders why I moved out.