"I Calls Em Like I Sees Em!"

Aug 31, 2008

Catch Up

So sorry I haven't been on here lately, I've been busy doing other things so I figured I'd do a quick catch up of why I've been missing & then get back to missing. Let's see, Thursday night me & Kara went to Huey Lewis & the News & it was awesome. We hung out with Lyz & Larry & their friend Braddon as well as Michelle & Tony, and Kara heard from a friend of hers who used to be a groupie that Huey Lewis is hung like a bear...who would have thought?

Friday I was hungover as all get out & spent the majority of the day spewing red white & blue. Once I was feeling better I pulled myself together & watched some TV...very adventurous I know!

Saturday I cleaned my apartment top to bottom to prepare for my parents arrival today. Once I got all of my cleaning done I rolled into Dearborn and hung out at Howell's with Leslie where we ran into Justin and his posse & NSG Dan & his posse of the evening. Rude jokes were told, we got into a debate with some interesting characters & then called it a night.

Today I've lounged, had keys made, did some Aco shopping (the place is so addictive), and hit up the Dearborn Farm Market which I love & miss now that I live in Farmington Hills...there is no homegrown cheapy farm market by me & that sucks. I got 2 weeks worth of fruit & veggies, some fresh basil & a newspaper for $15. Oh yeah, at Aco I also grabbed a couple of the famed Aco cart girl hot dogs...best in Dearborn & they totally hit the spot!!

I'm gonna go back to watching 90210 with my cat Libby & await my parents arrival!! Have a safe & happy Labor Day & I'll be back on Tuesday!!
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Aug 28, 2008

Random Story

So last night I'm at my friend's house & someone else there said that his TV had an odd color to it & he said it was probably because it was dirty. I told him to clean it & he asks what to use, I suggest Windex of course & he says "no, I remember them saying not to use Windex" so I ask what did you use the last time you cleaned it? He thinks for a minute & says "I think a wet rag" and I say "you think, when was the last time you cleaned it".

Him- I can't remember
Me- How many times have you cleaned it
Him- Once
Me- When did you buy this
Him- 1998
Me- Shut the Fuck up! This TV is 10 years old & it's been cleaned once? What the hell is wrong with you? You should clean the TV at least once a month but more like once a week.
Him- Why?
Me- Walked away.

Honestly, I can be pretty dirty & messy but cleaning your TV once in 10 years is just insane! When I lived there I was lax on cleaning my TV (and everything else), but I did it about once every 2 to 3 months & in 2 months it would get nasty dirty!! I finally told him that he might want to try a hammer & chisel to clean it rather than a wet rag and he wonders why I moved out.
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A Good Fisting!

Is Sam showing us what Lindsay has in store later on tonight?
L doesn't look too excited for it!

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I'm so freaking excited!!
It will be very interesting to watch the first 4 season marathon on Soap Net Monday & then turn around & see the new season Tuesday night...I can't wait!

Check out this AWES 90210 news that I grabbed from Perez as well, can it be?

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Overdosin In Real Time

Hey all, thankfully Trent posted an updated properly sync'd version of Heidi's hideous video, honestly I think it's even worse!! I just can't stop laughing, enjoy!!!!

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Aug 27, 2008

I Heart Tim Gunn

Here’s what he had to say about Miley Cyrus & her style: “Miley cyrus is just a little too tarty” “it’s just a little too much for a 15 year old” “I’d swear she was 25”.
I couldn’t agree more Tim, after seeing her at one awards show in a full length red gown that should have been worn by someone like Charlize Theron I started thinking the same thing. If she thought the photo of her in the sheet was a bad idea, so is dressing twice your age because people will forget that she’s just a little kid & the sexploitation will get out of hand.

And what about Katie Holmes you ask: “Katie Holmes went from looking like a little farm girl to looking like European royalty”I don’t know about royalty Tim, but I would say that she went from farm girl to a 50 year old version of Audrey Hepburn with the big sunglasses & short hair. I think that since she got married she completely changed the way she looks, it must be part of the Scientology Handbook to age yourself 20 years & wear hideous baggy 90’s jeans pegged with heels, WTF is up with that? This has to be the worst fashion choice she has made, wearing her husband’s jeans, which I’m assuming is why they are pegged, otherwise they would be floods. Anyway, she looks like an Olsen sister wearing the same pants every day, that is when they
wear pants!

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No Thanks!

So, check out these pics of Minnie Driver super prego and in a bikini! Look, I know all these people think pregnancy is beautiful and should be appreciated but I totally disagree! I don’t want to see a fat chick in a bikini period…I don’t care if she’s fat because she loves to eat or she’s fat because she’s pregnant, please, invest in a 1 piece or a tankini, or hey how about a maternity suit? Sure, if you are at home in your own pool go ahead, swim nude but when you are in public, please cover up your belly. This goes for fat & pregnant chicks not in bathing suits as well. I don’t ever want to see your bulging gut so please cover it up when you are in public because once the damn kid is out I’ll have no choice but to look at it & the longer I can go without having to see it, the better!

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It's Over!

Nicolette Sheridan & Michael Bolton called it quits…again! Finally, and hopefully this is the last time because if I read another article in People in 3 weeks telling me they are back together then I give up & move them both to my P (please go away, publicity hog, pussy, pretentious…etc. ) list.
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Ronson to Write

Apparently Sam thinks she has enough information to write a book…about what I have no idea. I’m assuming the book will be about LL & her because if it’s not, what the hell else is she going to write about? I don’t want to read a book about how to be a DJ, well; maybe I would if her brother Mark wrote it since he is the kick ass DJ in the family. I mean sure, she’s got a cool family that’s intertwined all over Britain but you can get the basic rundown on Wikipedia so save the trees sister because really…who cares?

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The Hunt For the Perfect Stall

Ladies, I was at the movies a few weeks back & after the flick I had to pee so I strolled into the bathroom and began “the hunt”. It suddenly occurred to me as I was walking down the aisle opening every available stall door and peeking in, that us ladies are like dogs sniffing out the right area of grass to kill. I of course wasn’t the only woman doing this; there were 2 other women who were also narrowing down where they wanted to relieve themselves. The first woman looked inside about 8 stalls before she found a suitable one while the woman behind her only looked in about 4, which tells me that these 2 women obviously have different standards for choosing the right toilet. Woman 2 picked a stall that woman 1 had passed up for whatever reason but I’m guessing that it wasn’t lack of toilet paper. Now, I went in the 2nd stall which had been passed up by both women & I’m not sure why. There was plenty of toilet paper, no pee or anything else on the seat, nothing on the floor, and had a full stock of seat covers. Obviously these are my criteria in finding a good public toilet, and I prefer not to be in a stall next to someone if possible. Normally I won’t go into the first stall…not sure why, I just don’t and when I’m in a bathroom that is small & only has 2 stalls I go for the handicapped one if it’s open. Obviously sometimes you just don’t have time to hunt for “the one” because you are about to pee yourself but when you do have the time…what are your criteria?
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Aug 26, 2008

Heidi Montag's New Video

So, even though the video is in super slo-mo and runs about 6 minutes longer than the actual song...this is the video for Overdosin! It is AWFUL & if possible, worse than the last one...mainly because it looks like this was supposed to be professional & hi, Spencer could have probably filmed this one too!! She seems to be going for some sort of humor factor but it's not even funny, not in the way she intends (laugh with me) anyway, it's more of a laugh at you video, enjoy!!

So, are you dying laughing yet?

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The Hills Are Alive With The Sound of Drama!

What is with Lo? Did you guys see the Hills last night? Was she on drugs? She’s acting all friendly with Audrina telling her she looked pretty & saying “I’m glad we talked” meanwhile Audrina is thinking “I thought I made myself clear that you don’t need to speak to me” you could see it all over her face wondering if they had the same conversation or if Lo thought Audrina was joking or something.

I am so looking forward to the coming weeks when Stephanie will show her true colors! Speaking of her, I loved her saying “this is the best birthday ever” then all the cool people left & she suddenly appeared to be thinking “this is the worst birthday ever” as she looked at Spencer & Heidi & her other 2 friends that remained. I mean come on though, how could anyone (including Stephanie) not think that they would show up? She’s his sister & they are drama crazy so of course they are going to go over the top & crash the party.

I would also like to know how Doug knows Brody & Frankie…I don’t think they all knew each other back in Laguna or wouldn’t Doug have been around in previous seasons? Is MTV just forcing these dudes to hang out for TV sake? I mean, the boys went out to dinner before the b-day party & that’s not the norm for people who don’t know each other.
As much as I love this show I hate myself for watching it because it’s so unbelievable & stupid that people are living their lives like this. I do however want to give mad props to Whitney (my fav even though she abuses the hard G) on her killer promotion, so do we think Lauren will stay on at the job or move on since Whitney is gone? I also would like to give Kelly mad props for firing that Jessica girl, she seemed like a major ball dropper!

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Aug 25, 2008

Beautiful Portrait

Many of you probably remember me telling you the horrific story of my aunt's horse being attacked by 2 Pit Bulls and having to be put down due to the extensive damage to the poor girl. Well, a woman named Mimi McHale who is a local artist wanted to paint a portrait of Helvezia and she just finished it. She will be displaying the painting at the HVCA (Huron Valley Council of the Arts) for the month of September and then the portrait will go to Kara as a keepsake, being borrowed occasionally for various art shows. I wanted to share the portrait with everyone to keep Helvezia's spirit alive, she sure is missed by her family every single day.

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Yes, No

Ok so now I hear that Brit is not performing at the VMA's...so why is she in all the commercials? I know you have seen them, with the giant elephant in the room & her & Brand (total weirdo). Why would anyone give a shizz if she was just making an appearance? We want to see her perform & hopefully get her image back either that or bomb twice as bad & hopefully opt for another career, preferably in a cube so we don't have to deal with her anymore!!

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Dancing Stars

Uh oh everyone look out, the list of the new celebs to be on Dancing With the Stars has been posted! First of all can I please say that it is totally unfair to have a mix of people who involve(d) dancing in their profession with people who don’t know the difference between a pas de bouree´ and a potted plant! This upcoming season we have 2 former pop stars against the usual mix of sports folks, a chef, people I have never heard of, washed up celebs, Susan Lucci & of course Kim Kardashian. I wonder if the dance floor is big enough for her, her partner, and her ass?
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Aug 22, 2008


Does Victoria Beckham have teeth? This broad never smiles, ever & that irritates the piss out of me! I really wonder like when she gets an awesome birthday present from David does she just look at him straight faced and say oh my god, I'm so excited, I love love love this!!! Are her children being raised in a smileless home environment? I mean, I understand that she looks pretty bad when she smiles but really...she just seems like a total bitch due to her lack of smiles. Doesn't she know that smiles are free? She should be able to keep those age lines away though...smiling really ages your face!
photo-allure magazine

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Aug 21, 2008

The Rossdale's Give Birth to a Legal Firm!!

So, it looks like Gwen finally had the baby and it's a boy! His name is Zuma Nesta Rock Rossdale who arrived a little before 1 pm & weighed in at a hefty 8.5 lbs, which is really no surprise considering how huge her belly got! Mom & baby are happy & healthy and doing well! Congrats guys!
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What a Tool

Mayer the douche is now said to have ended things with Jen via text message. These stories just keep going back & forth he dumped her, she dumped him. Who cares? Jen is now thankfully free of a total effing douche bag & regardless of who ended it, good for her! I don’t know why she started it to begin with, John Mayer is crazy, unattractive & I’m now thinking has a drug problem. Why else would he keep stopping and talking to TMZ and all of these other tab shows about how cool he is?

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Get off the Damn Phone!

You know, at the risk of sounding like my mother I am so sick of people on cell phones while they are driving. It always seems that when I get stuck behind that tool that is going 5 under the speed limit they are on the effing phone. I usually pass them & give them a dirty look as I do, very mature I know but it’s a serious peeve of mine. Very rarely do I take or make a phone call while driving but when I do, I keep it short & I keep my eyes on my speed instead of just looking blankly out the window. So my biggest thing is who in the hell needs to be on the phone in their car at 7:30 in the morning? Nothing is so important at that time of day that it can’t wait until you are out of your car. This is morning rush hour & the speed limit is 40 & you are going 38 while all lanes around you are going 50…get off the effing phone & pay attention before I run your sorry ass off the road. I happen to know people that I will not name who can barely drive with the radio off & no distractions at all who will talk on the phone while driving. Guess what I do if I’m in the car? First I hold on for dear life & B I backseat drive & note every light, nearing vehicle, pedestrian, animal…I do this when they aren’t on the phone so imagine how I am when they are on the phone. Personally, if you have an emergency & need to make a call then pull over otherwise, wait the 10 minutes until you get to your destination & make the call then. They do make these neat Bluetooth things and systems where you can talk on your phone through your radio so really, there is no need to be physically on the phone when you are driving, ever. And one more note to those of you who are guilty of the following (not naming names) stop texting while you are driving, not only can I not read the message because everything is spelled wrong but you might spill your drink ;) Just kidding!

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Aug 20, 2008

New Gay On The Block

So, according to Perez Jon Knight is totally gay!! Apparently he's very open about it and has a non-famous boyfriend whom he is very happy with. He has yet to come out publicly but I guess I kind of always knew that maybe he might be gay and now that I know for sure, I'm not surprised. Really though, if you think about it...Lance Bass, Jon Knight, Brian Littrell...come on, you know you thought it...having a gay member is key to a super boy group. Good for you Jon, I hope you & your man are super happy & I can't wait to see you next month!!

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Million Dollar Listing

Do you guys watch this show? If not, you probably should! I was watching last night and a rerun this morning and basically the show is about 3 young (20's) guys living in the L.A. area who are Real Estate agents and focus on very high end homes. I can't stand 2 of the 3 guys (Josh & Chad) but I really like Madison, he's very nice & while he makes tons of money he doesn't seem as much like a pretentious prick as the others. Chad, this kid has a helmet of hair that drives me insane, he's very very into his looks which aren't that great, and he thinks very highly of himself while it seems like his dad really doesn't and I think that is a major reason why Chad is the way he is. Chad's boss is Rick Hilton (Paris' dad) and he seems to think that's pretty cool, you can hear it in his voice when he name drops. I feel sorry for his girlfriend because they are young & he's already asking her to move in with him, after a year of dating, not to mention the fact that the poor girl has to wait hours to leave the house so Chad can get ready. I'm not sure why he won't just jump in the shower while she is doing her makeup but whatever.

Josh is so full of himself, he thinks he's the greatest thing since sliced bread and is beyond arrogant. He's one of those people that I almost want to see fail...he's like 21 & has a beautiful home & pricey wardrobe & a pretty car & acts like his life will always be this splendid. In the first episode he makes a remark about his new jeans & how he got them on sale "they were only like 600"! Now, I don't have a major problem with him buying pricey things because he worked for them but I just don't think the word "savings" is in his vocabulary & when you are lucky enough to have that kind of money at a young age, you need to plan for the future.

Madison is cute, bi, and down to earth. He makes great money too but it doesn't show, sure he drives a nice ass car & lives in a nice place but if you just saw him out you wouldn't think he was as rich as he is because he doesn't flaunt it like Josh. Chad is kind of in between but let me warn you that his voice & the way he speaks is beyond annoying so if you can make it past that & his hair, you might actually enjoy the show. Of course the best part is getting to see these homes that are listed in the multi-million dollar price range.

If you do already watch, who is your favorite?

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Living Single: Why Don't You Like Me?

Check out this posting from my other site, it was too good not to share, I just don't understand some people!!

Aug 19, 2008

Divorce Deets

Phil Collins broke a record for the British, and no, it wasn’t for his music…it was for the divorce settlement that ex-wife number 3 got at a whopping $46.68 million dollars, which is higher than Heather Mills. Phil, when you are marrying someone who is 22 years younger than you, she will take you for all you have dead or alive, so you might want to consider a prenuptial agreement the next time you say I do! I’m surprised you hadn’t learned your lesson already, you are now paying out 1/3 of your net worth to ex wives…hey, I’m looking for a cash cow, what you up to next weekend? ;)

Speaking of Heather Mills & Paul…his new nickname should be Mr. Rebound because he gets more pu**y than any other old(er) dude I know I mean come on. Linda died & he was married like 2 weeks later and then shocked that it ended…well, it’s a rebound & you should have had a prenup. So that divorce took place less than a year ago & he’s all in lurve with this new broad…just some advice Sir, don’t marry her!!!!!

Donnie Wahlberg is getting a divorce…don’t everyone rush him all at once now! When I read that a “new kid” was ending his marriage I was hoping for cutie pie Joe, but no such luck for me!

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Please Remove Him!

You know, all this Kwame business is no longer funny, it's freaking embarrassing for the city. Detroit already has one of the worst reputations of any city in the entire country and now this?! I mean come on, Kwame's face is all over CNN, and I'm sure has been all over Best Week Ever on VH1 too. I just don't understand what is wrong with him that he would want to stay in his position, he's making a fool out of himself and Detroit and he sees nothing wrong with it. After the jail time and constant court dates he still remains mayor and a government that would even allow someone who committed perjury to stay in office obviously lacks a lot. In any other country he would have been thrown in jail immediately & I'm sure in some...killed, yet we just allow him to continue to work! It isn't like he's the manager of a Dairy Queen, he's the freaking mayor of a large metropolitan city that he keeps abusing to get ahead. I'm beyond sick of all of this crap & when Granholm makes her decision it better be to remove him, Detroit has suffered enough at the hands of their "leader" it's time they get to move on!!
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Aug 18, 2008


Darryl from the office got popped with some drugs & I’m not talking a doobie in his pocket! Craig Robbins was busted on 2 counts of possession of a controlled substance & being under the influence of a controlled substance too! I guess Darryl had some meth & some ecstasy so he’s gonna be in some deep shizz!

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Zooey Perry?

Ok, is it me or were these 2 separated at birth? Katy Perry & Zooey Deschanel look so much alike it’s kind of creepy isn’t it? I will say that the first time I saw Katy I thought she was Zooey until it was announced that I was looking at Katy. Very weird, but at least they have different professions so telling them apart shouldn’t be too confusing.

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New Season of The Hills!!!

So, how excited are we for The Hills season 4 premiere tonight kids? I can’t freaking wait, there was a marathon on yesterday & I watched some of it in an attempt to get me excited for tonight but just watching Stephanie be so 2 faced and awful made me sick & I had to turn it off. Now, I saw Audrina on Chelsea Lately the other night & she cleared up the scripted/not scripted question. The situations are scripted, the discussions & interactions are not, but now we all know how it is possible for them to always get the killer table at the killer club every single night!! I would assume that this also tells us that MTV paid for the house that L,A, and L live in together, because they wanted them to live together to cause more drama. They must make good money, because I would never allow someone else to repeatedly set me up in situations that create drama, I’m way too old for that crap!

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DeGenerossi Follow Up

Thanks E!, click here for the article regarding the lovely nuptials. They wore Zac Posen…not Cavalli but I will say in my defense that the gear they are wearing (photo in the article) is not what I saw the designs of on another website right after they announced their engagement. Congrats to them, I’m so happy & excited for them!!!

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Aug 15, 2008

Living Single: Strangest Pickup Line to Date

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DeGenerossi is Saying I Do!

So, Us Magazine tells us all that Ellen & Portia are getting married this weekend! I’m so excited for these two because they have been together for a long time so they must be absolutely thrilled. They appear to be so in love it’s so sweet to see for a change rather than all of these straight couples who seem to jump from one to another to another and so on. Now, I assume that Ellen will wear a tux as she should while Portia will probably wear a stunning gown…I believe that Roberto Cavalli designed their gear. I know I read in some magazine back when they got engaged that a major designer had given them sketches already and for some reason Cavalli is standing out in my head but don’t hold me to it! I just want to tell them congratulations for being so happy, so cute, and finally so married…just like the rest of America but hopefully they are not putting up a front & pretending to be happy like 80% of straight married Americans.

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Aug 14, 2008


I don’t understand what is up with the radio, I don’t know about you guys but I listen to various stations throughout most days. My main 2 stations are 89X (best morning show) and 95.5 with 96.3 as the 3rd runner up but at work my little radio doesn’t get many stations in so I listen to 93.1 or 105.1…they both play a decent mix of a lot of different crowd pleasing music which is better in the office so I don’t offend anyone. Now, when I’ve just had it with blah music I plug in my ipod or hit up Pandora radio & listen to stuff that is a little less appropriate for work. So anyway, there is a point here…I’m sitting at my desk listening to 105.1 and “If It Makes You Happy” by Sheryl Crow comes on and I’m singing along and when I get to “why the hell does it make you so sad” the phrase is over in the song & I’m still singing it. It had been a while since I had heard it so I thought maybe I was in the wrong spot so the part comes back around again and I don’t sing but instead realize that the words “the hell” have been removed it now just says “why does it make you so sad”. It makes me sad because part of the lyrics have been removed, not silenced or bleeped but removed altogether. This is reminiscent of “You Don’t Know How it Feels” by Tom Petty on 93.1, instead of saying “Let’s roll another joint” it actually says “Let me get to the point, let’s roll another road” and that doesn’t even rhyme! On 105.1 & 93.1 Kid Rock’s “All Summer Long” they run the lyrics as “We were trying different things & trying funny things” instead of “smoking funny things”. Similar, in Paul Simon’s “Late in the Evening” he says “I stepped outside to smoke myself a J” which is not omitted on any radio station & isn’t that kind of hypocritical? Also, in a Fall Out Boy & a Panic at the Disco song the word Goddamn is used repeatedly & generally just silenced & I guess I understand that one but what I don’t understand is this.96.3 & 95.5 don’t omit the Kid Rock lyric of smoking funny things nor do they omit the lyric by Sheryl Crow or Tom Petty. 89X doesn’t omit any of them…not even the Goddamn’s which is so refreshing because one of the songs says Goddamn in it about 20 times & listening to it on 96.3 sucks because the song is mostly silent, it’s kind of like watching 8 Mile on VH1! Now, I assume that 89X has different rules because they are technically Canadian right? So, why is it that 96.3 can play “smoking funny things” and “why the hell” but 105.1 & 93.1 can’t? Do you think it’s more of a “we choose not to play those lyrics” as opposed to them not being allowed to play them? And if that’s the case then why isn’t Paul Simon edited? It can’t be because he’s a “classic” because Tom Petty is as well so why does he have to be edited? I guess I just get very frustrated when I’m at work, in my car, at home…wherever & I’m trying to sing along to some song and the whole thing is edited. How does anyone ever know what a song actually says these days? Regardless of why they can, I want to thank 89X for playing actual music in its actual state & only bleeping out the bigguns like F$#%, Sh*#, C$#t…etc. Ok, that’s it for my ramble, thanks for reading!!
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Transfabulous On Top Model!

So, in the upcoming season of America's Next Top Model it appears that a transgender gal by the name of Isis is one of the new contestants. So, I read this article on Us and all of these people have this major issue with this, concerned with the bathroom situation in the house and all this other shizz. I don't see what the big flipping deal is, I mean seriously, who gives a shizz? If the girl can work it then she better work regardless if she was born a man...look at Ms. Jay, he can walk a runway better than most models & he's a man living as a man so my guess is that this girl will put all the other born that way girls to shame. You go girl, show all these outsiders who are judging you exactly why it's a waste of their time and props to Tyra & the CW for having Isis on the show & not disqualifying her because she is "different". Check out that article...other than her shoes, the girl is a looker & having male genes is in her benefit as far as the slender department goes.
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So it has been 200 days since I quit smoking and I have saved myself approximately $1,000, so what did I do with the money? Well, I'm no longer living with roommates, I have digital cable (as opposed to the basic I had for 4.5 years), I have 2 movie channels, and I went to Vegas...of course, I'm still broke as a joke as I always have been, but at least now when I'm down to a dollar and have 2 days until pay day, it's really no big deal because I don't HAVE to buy anything. Honestly, I've had $14 in my checking account since Monday & when I get paid tomorrow that $14 will still be there!

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Aug 13, 2008

Johniston Over!

So, it looks like Jen got dumped again (lucky for her)! Reports are stating that they decided to take a break with the relationship to attempt to make things stronger (like that ever works) so John took off to Mexico and immediately started taking his break with various women (which I don’t get) while Jen just stayed local hanging out with her ladies. Apparently John must have enjoyed the freedom and decided to just call it quits with Jen altogether. Poor Jen, she can never seem to catch a break but then again, she was married to Brad Pitt already so I can’t really feel bad for her…she had the hottest man on the planet & lost him to (sad to say) someone hotter. After being “let go” by all of these men I’m starting to wonder if something is wrong with her or if she’s just not willing to settle (like me), either way…I feel for you sister, finding someone decent is no easy task!!

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