"I Calls Em Like I Sees Em!"

May 26, 2010

A week missed but here's the new ones!!

I know I didn't post last week but I was offline & out of town, I'm online & in town today so here are your horoscopes from Real Detroit Weekly.
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May 24, 2010

Smoking update

Ok so it has been 3 weeks & 14 hours since I quit, I have not had one single cigarette since I did.  I have saved $70 already & omitted 216 cigarettes from daily life.  I feel good but can't wait to be off the Chantix...don't get me wrong, the drug is a miracle but I'm nauseous all the time, I don't sleep & when I do the dreams are so bizarre, I can't get enough water, I have to pee in the middle of the night...there's many things about it I don't like but when I look at the big picture what's so bad about a couple months of being uncomfortable when the reward is so great?  I have stopped taking the drug with breakfast & now take it with lunch & dinner since I tend to eat later in the summer & I take a sleeping pill about an hour before bed as well & that usually helps me at least get 6 hours of quality sleep.  They say it only takes 3 weeks to make or break a habit & it's been just that 3 weeks so according to the universe my habit should be gone by now, woo hoo!
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May 14, 2010


OMG you guys, I just realized that I didn't post the horoscopes this week!  Sorry about that but here they are, enjoy.
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May 11, 2010

I've ended my relationship with my lover of 17 years!

Yes you read that right...my lover of 17 years, Marlboro has been kicked to the curb & all this time you guys thought I was single.  It occurred to me yesterday that cigarettes like any other addiction are a relationship & this was by far the worst relationship I've ever had & I didn't even know it.  I was talking to a friend yesterday & he said "how can you dis this relationship? weren't they always there for you?".  At first I said yes but then quickly realized that no, they weren't there for me when I needed them, I had to pay them to be there when I needed them they didn't just magically appear when I was feeling down or bored.  Some lazy days I even had to get dressed & go pick them up & pay them to come home with me.  Really?  I paid Marlboro to come home with me every single day & what did they do for me?  Absolutely nothing productive!  They helped me avoid my to-do list, made me smell really bad, ruined my teeth, ruined my lungs, blocked my sense of taste and smell, and most of all made me look like white trash.  I chose to ignore all of these signs & kept spending time with them anyway just hoping & praying that one day they would in some way realize that I was worth more or just go away.  They never did, they kept getting more & more expensive to spend time with & when I was busy doing something else they were just in the back of my mind telling me that I needed them.  I swear they brain washed me into thinking I was happy, just like some douche bag guy & guess what?  The douche bag guy would have been kicked to the curb after 2 months so why in the hell did I let these pricks hang around for so long?  

Well, they had a hold on me, I loved them & loved the way they made me feel, that they were always around & made every single thing I did better.  For a very long time there they had me convinced that I did need them after I eat, when I'm driving, when I'm watching TV, at work...anytime really but obviously I woke up & decided to tell the bastards just what I wanted out of life & that unfortunately they were no longer in the picture.  Shockingly, they didn't even stand up for themselves so that just proved my point that I didn't need to be with a lover who couldn't even say sorry & tell me why it was I needed to be with them.  So now here I am, 9 days without the bastards and I could care less, I feel good, I smell good, and I've realized that I'm better than needing to be with anything or anyone that doesn't need me back.  So Marlboro, I want you to go away & stay away from me, I do not need you in my life, you are a selfish one sided prick that doesn't even deserve my glance let alone my affections.  The last 17 years were mostly a blast but I've realized that was because of me, not you so you can suck it, I do not need you anymore!
photo courtesy Gary Neville blogs.soccernet.com
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May 7, 2010

Who does that?

It has been some time since I've posted a who does that but I'm very annoyed by people at work & in general lately.  I was talking to a coworker yesterday saying that I just wanted to punch someone (anyone, nobody in particular) in the face & she agreed that she was feeling the same way.  It all stems from noise, the noise of voices basically...people talking when you are working is obnoxious, period.  I live in cubeville like most folks in corporate America and we all know how obnoxious is it listening to people yap on the phone when you are trying to focus & then it always seems that as soon as you get in the zone someone is rap tapping on your cube to ask you something or tell you something that you don't want to deal with either.  For example, this happens often...I'm working my little butt off & hear a knock so I remove my headphones & turn around & then someone either just says "hi" or they tell me they are putting something in my inbox.  You don't need to break my concentration to tell me you are doing something...just do it!
Last year my cube was moved to where it was when I started this job & I love this location because I actually get real daylight if the person in the office next to my cube leaves their door open which they usually do.  So anyway, not too long ago a whole team was moved into our aisle & we were very used to complete quiet where we are & then all of the sudden all of these phones are ringing & people are in and out of our row, mini meetings are being held directly outside my cube & I'm hearing laughter & people yelling from cube to cube & it's quite annoying.  So what this basically brings me to is why do people talk so loud when they get on the phone, particularly a cell phone?  It's not the 80's, you don't have to yell (FYI yelling at a drive-thru is also unnecessary) so take the call in a normal tone of voice so everyone doesn't hear your conversation.  I would also like to know why people think it's ok to yell back & forth down the aisles especially when we have a chat service on our email, I mean really, who does that & doesn't think "hmm, I'll bet everyone else who is always quiet is annoyed by this"?  I mean, use the chat program or get your butt up & walk to the next cube, don't just yell back & forth, it's rude & inappropriate.  It's one thing if you have a quick question or comment but an entire conversation...come on!  So basically what I'm getting at is that people like to get in a zone at work so do your best to be courteous to your neighbors & use your inside voices whenever possible. 
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May 5, 2010


They weren't easy to find today...Real Detroit redesigned their website & it's nice but I can't find anything.  I also don't get whey there icon looks like a giant F?  Anyway, here's what you have been waiting for!
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May 3, 2010

Fat people who eat fast food daily gross me out!

I'm not trying to be a bitch here, I like fast food just as much as the normal person & I have overweight friends.  My point is that overweight people who eat fast & junk food daily are just plain gross.  I hate watching some of these people like this one girl who lives in my building...every time I see her she either has a fast food bag or a bag of chips & she always has a regular soda in her hand as well.  Sometimes I see her before work & she's shoveling in a McD's breakfast sandwich, sometimes I see her after work carrying her fast food bag which is oddly usually also McD's (and it's not the bag from the morning as I can smell the food).  On the rare occasion that she's not carrying a fast food bag she's then carrying a bag of chips and I just don't get it.  I'm single & I work & I don't really like cooking all that much but how hard is it to have a cereal bar rather than a fast food sandwich?  It's actually easier, you reach in box, remove bar, remove wrapper, eat.  You don't have to stop & waste money on all of those calories to start your day!

There used to be this hugely obese man who drove a van that was always behind me on my way to work so I'm guessing that he got laid off like half of America which is fine by me because seeing him in my rear view mirror every morning was enough to make me puke in my coffee cup.  Every single day there he sat behind me chomping on some huge ass breakfast sandwich from Burger King & he was so obese it just made me sick, I wanted to jump out of the car & run back to him & hand him a banana & then throw his sandwich in the street.

Now, I know that my overweight friends & family must eat like this as well but they don't do it in front of people.  When we go out to dinner they order a normal meal like everyone else, granted they might finish it while the rest of us need boxes but it's not gross.  I can say that yes, there were times after the bar that we would stop at Burger King or McDonald's & my cousin(s) would order a combo meal at 2 am (and I thought it was pretty ridiculous) while I just got a single cheeseburger so I knew that they were eating like absolute pigs when I wasn't looking but I didn't really care because I didn't have to see it.  I think fast food is fine in moderation, some weeks are worse than others & I might get fast food twice while sometimes 3 or 4 weeks will go by before I eat it again.  95% of the time I get it because I'm craving it and only the other 5% is because I'm on the go & don't have time to cook.  I really think people need to put things into perspective & realize that fast food is a fall back choice, not your main source of nutrition.  I mean, if all you eat is fast food you are missing out on the majority of the food groups unless you are getting salads which I'm sure is pretty rare.  I am not a health nut in any sense of the word but there is absolutely no reason to get fatter every single day is there?  I have a friend who eats healthy, exercises daily & is overweight anyway & that sucks big time but everyone else...get your veg & whole grain on, you'll feel better & look better & will stop disgusting those around you & if you must continue being a pig please do it in the privacy of your own home.
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