"I Calls Em Like I Sees Em!"

Apr 28, 2010

Horoscopes!

As usual, here are your Real Detroit Horoscopes, enjoy!!
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Bullock is a mom?

According to the new issue of People Magazine & the exclusive interview Sandra gave she has officially filed for divorce from her nasty ass cheating husband of 5 years, Jesse James.  Well, that's not the big news...we are pretty much over that by now, but 4 years ago Sandra & Jesse began the process of adopting a baby & guess what?  Sandra got the baby boy 3 and a half months ago!  The baby Louis Bardo Bullock (not James) was born in New Orleans and Sandra is now in the process of finalizing the adoption as a single parent as Jesse is a total douche bag & obviously blew his chances of being a parent (yet again) by screwing a bunch of nasty ass sluts.  The entire family, including Jesse's kids have all been keeping the information about the adoption under wraps since day one though I'm sure the last 3 months have been really hard given the fact that a tangible baby has been in their presence...or at least Sandra's presence.  I don't know anything about whether or not Jesse's kids are still in touch with Sandra but hopefully they are able to maintain the bond they built without having to involve Jesse in any of it.  For more click here or pick up the new issue of People on Friday for the whole article & many more photos!!
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Apr 26, 2010

Bret Michaels apparently not doing well...

I just heard about this but apparently Bret Michaels (front man of Poison) recently suffered a brain hemorrhage on Thursday night.  The 47 year old singer & current contestant on Celebrity Apprentice is under 24 hour doctor care & as of yesterday they were looking for the source of the bleeding.  It is believed that this is related to the minor head injury he received last year when he was hit with a part of a stage setup at the Tony Awards.  

Bret is suffering from slurred speech, blurred vision, and dizziness and according to Donald Trump (who has been in touch with Bret's doctors) Bret is "in big, big trouble & the prognosis is not great".  All of the people around him know that he is a fighter and are staying positive and optimistic that he will come out of this and be back at 100% soon.  More testing will be going on this week to attempt to locate the source of the bleeding which will help to determine his future.

His tour manager has been posting to Bret's blog & thanking all of his fans and friends for all of their support and outpouring of concern for him.  For more on Trump's thoughts click here
photo courtesy of usweekly.com
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Apr 16, 2010

Tiger Commercial - Parody featuring "Bill Clinton"


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Big fan of wine in a box? Sick of people drinking yours?

Well if this applies to you it sounds like what you need is a Winecoat!  Check out this handy new invention that allows you to take the bag of wine out of the box & put it in a handy purse that you can just carry around the party & refill your glass whenever you want & not have to worry about someone sneaking in to the fridge & thieving your delicious beverage.  The bag is described as casual but stylish & it has a stable rubber bottom to keep it from tipping over!  If you are thinking "OMG, I need one of these" then you need to head over to the Scandinavian Design Center & pick one up for about $60.


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Apr 13, 2010

Never Quit Quitting!

That's my motto right about now as I am 17 days away from quitting smoking again.  Myself, Michelle at work, cousin Shell, Wendy, and Jason are all saying "EAD" to cigarettes!  Michelle & myself are going on the Chantix...this is my second time & her first but I'm really looking forward to quitting & hopefully for good.  What I'm not looking forward to is the nausea & effed up dreams.  Michelle is pissed that she has to eat with it because well...she doesn't eat much, especially in the morning and that's when you take it (with breakfast & with dinner).  The fact that people in Michigan will no longer be able to smoke in bars & restaurants will be a big help for me because that's what triggered me most in the past...sitting at a bar looking at all of these people smoking & then after 3 beers I'd want one & I'd be too buzzed to stop myself & bum one.  Well I finally turned the corner to buying them & while I smoke about half what I used to I'd rather not smoke at all.  I'm very happy that I will no longer be coming home from the bar reeking of smoke (yes as a smoker I could notice it) and having to Febreeze my jacket & Dry Clean Only my hair...what a pain in the ass that is.  I'm sure there are so many non-smokers who are happy that they can go out without coming home smelly & making their house smell.  I'll be happy to get rid of the smell in my house & no, my friends will not be allowed to smoke in there unless it's raining/snowing but then they have to stand in front of the exhaust fan & make sure all the smoke is sucked out. 

I do know some smokers who have said to me "once this law is passed I'm not going out anymore, it's cheaper to drink at home anyway".  I think that is pretty stupid to throw your social life away for something that could potentially kill you.  I do somewhat see where they are coming from like "eff this, screw you, this is bull shit, stop discriminating" but dudes...you know what we do is unhealthy, can kill others, it stinks, it's expensive...it's stupid but not as stupid as saying you are now going to be a shut in.  Anyway, I hope others take this no smoking in public opportunity to heart & decide to stop smoking in private too.  Those who choose to continue have that right & I will not give them shit for it but for those who are willing to quit, I will give all the support I can!
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Apr 9, 2010

Holy heart attack without a bun!!

Jeebus Crisp dudes, I saw this today on Twitter thanks to Jamie Oliver & I think I gained weight just reading the "nutrition" information.  First of all I'd like to note that I don't think the word nutrition should be used to describe food that isn't nutritious.  Maybe it should read "notrition information" since it's NOT nutritious, just a suggestion.  Ok so anyway the name of the sandwich is The Double Down and when I first read the name I thought of Swingers of course but then I looked at it & started reading & all I was wondering was if this was made from Tracy Jordan's Meat Machine?  On the episode of 30 Rock (The Rural Juror) where Tracy decides to put his name on a product to make money he comes up with the genius idea of the Tracy Jordan Meat Machine which "makes meat the new bread".  Here is a clip from the infomercial in which he is trying to sell his item.
Anyway, to me it seems that this "sandwich" from KFC is a joke, but when you look at the notritional content of said "sandwich" it isn't a joke, it's a freaking death threat!  It's so odd that just yesterday I was watching the Rural Juror episode & dying laughing over meat as bread & then today...it's a reality.  What has this world come to?
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Apr 7, 2010

Not sure how to tell your parents they won't be grandparents?

Check out this article from WikiHow on how to defend your choice not to have children.  To me it's sad to read #4 because I can't imagine anyone in my family grieving if I chose not to have kids but I do know a couple guys who are last in line to carry on the family name & they tell me that they HAVE TO breed even though they really don't want to.  I always say that just because you are the last in your particular family to carry on the name doesn't mean that there aren't other people out there with your name so who cares & it's not just a males job to carry on a name.  If I as a female were the last "Smith" I would keep my name & if I had a son I'd give him my last name to carry on, and just because you give your son the name to carry on who's to say that he won't change it at some point in his life?  Nobody has to live with their given name, even if they are the last one with it; having a kid that you don't really want just to carry on your name isn't a very good reason to have one!
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Spirit Airlines kills the spirit of travel

So in an attempt to speed up the deplaning process Spirit Airlines will now charge $30-$45 per carry on bag starting August 1st.  We will be allowed a laptop and a bag that fits under the seat for free (which is how I travel) but for all of those fools who are trying to skirt paying to check a bag & cramming their roller bag into the overhead they will no longer get away with it.

I hate the long ass process of deplaning as I never use the overhead bin and the people who do are always the first up in the aisle trying to get their bags out while elbowing others on the plane.  Personally I think every airline should announce when it is time to get off the plane "anyone who has items stored in the overhead please remain seated at this time, all others please leave the aircraft" and then once all of us lite travelers are off the plane which would only take 2 minutes then all the douche bags using the overheads (it's men 90% of the time) could take their sweet old time getting their bags down & elbowing each other!

Don't you hate it when you are in line to get off of the plane & you finally get cruising & some dude steps out in the aisle in front of you & starts digging through the bins looking for his bag, has shit set on the aisle floor & trying to get himself organized?  I just always stand there & give them dirty looks thinking "if you aren't organized don't hold up everyone else", it's just so rude!  How hard is it for people who need more time to wait for those who don't?  I also love the chick who is politely waiting to exit & then they give you a look as you are coming that sweetly says "can I get out here" so you let them out & then they set down the misleading book bag they were holding in the aisle & start pulling their bag out of the overhead.  Who does that?  If a line is moving & you aren't ready to actually move then you need to wait!

I also learned that Spirit is the king of fees...they charge you a fee for booking online, they charge you for all of your bags even carry on, and as the radio said this morning they basically charge more fees for services that people use most.  Most other airlines give a discount for purchasing your flight online but since everyone does Spirit thought "charge em"!  The only way you can avoid paying a fee is by actually purchasing your ticket at the ticket counter at the airport!
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It's horoscope day!

Happy hump day!  It's that time of the week for your Real Detroit Horoscopes!  I also wanted to say Happy Birthday to my girl Katie.

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Apr 5, 2010

A ranting I will go!

Attention everyone: nobody owes you anything!

I'm so over knowing so may ungrateful, tacky, self serving people...it's really getting out of hand. Me & my friends & the majority of the people I know are over the age of 30 which means that high school & ideas of marrying someone rich are gone & it's time to step up & take responsibility for yourself!

If you can't pay your bills then get a job, if you can't afford to go on a trip with your friends then don't go, if you can't be bothered to make a dish to pass then don't show up at the potluck looking for something to eat. I don't know if it's just the economic times that are causing this but I've noticed so many greedy bastards lately bitching about how effed up their life is & blaming someone else. Look, it may not be your fault that you got laid off from your job with no hope of returning but I can tell you that it's not your coworker or boss' fault either. Sure, you can sulk for a few days but then it's time to get up, get moving & find a new job, not find someone else to take care of you.

Do you guys have those people (mostly women) in your life who you have heard complain about their significant other, every friend & family member they have, every coworker? I know those people and after I hear them complain about how everyone is fucked up & out to get them & how crazy all of these people are behaving all I can think is "dude, YOU are the common denominator" like does it ever occur to these people that it's them, not every single person around them?

What about the over reactors, you know the one who says that a coworker stole hours from them & you come to find out later that the coworker simply requested the OT prior to your friend doing it but of course the friend still thinks that bitch is trying to steal her job.

I just always wonder, what color glasses do these people see the world through? Why can't they ever see that they are the problem, that they aren't all that so there's no reason for people to try to sabotage them? Is this something that starts when they are kids? I mean, I'm an only child so I know that I can be difficult at times because I don't compromise, I do things my way & if you don't like it I don't care, I almost always get my way & when I don't I act like a 3 year old and it's because I always got everything I wanted growing up. I never had to share or compromise or do anything that I didn't want to do & I pretty much expect it to be the same now that I'm grown...hence the reason I'm still single but I know it's because of me, not because some stupid guy had other interests & was trying to screw me over. Even though I always secretly wanted to marry someone rich my mom always told me that it was most important in life to learn to take care of myself first because men aren't there to take care of you, if they choose to then great but if they then turn around & leave you, you are already well prepared & know that you can take care of yourself. I also think that most men would rather be with a woman who can take care of herself & isn't just with him for the sake of needing to be taken care of.

I recently heard a story of a 10 year old little girl who is friends with my friends daughter. This little girl never has money when she comes to hang out with my friends daughter so my friend is always shelling out cash for this little girl & my friend doesn't exactly have the extra cash to begin with. Well a couple weeks back the little girl came & spent the night with my friend & her daughter & they went out to the movies & to eat & of course the little girl didn't have any cash so my friend had to pay. To make matters worse, the little girl was staying because her mom called my friend & asked if she could take her because she had plans (yes she asked for a favor & sent the kid with no $). After everything my friend had to take the little girl home as well & when she got out of the car my friend said "you're welcome Name" and the little girl said "ok, bye". Now you tell me...whose fault is that? You got it, it's moms! Mom never has any money so everyone is always taking care of her and taking care of her daughter as well, not her. This little girl assumes that it's normal that other people pay, and because of that she doesn't appreciate what is being done for her; obviously, if she can't be bothered to say thank you. I feel really bad for this little girl...when she grows up she's going to be that bitch I mentioned above, the one who thinks that men & the universe owe her something & it's pretty sad when these girls get to the age when their friends are taking care of themselves while they are searching for their prince because they are always negative & miserable & they do their damnedest to take their friends down with them.

I just want to say right now that I choose not to help those who ask for help when I know damn well they can help themselves if they try. By helping people like that it just furthers their ideas that the world owes them something when the world doesn't owe anyone anything & if you want a change in your life it is your responsibility to change it, nobody else. Personally I feel that we all get one "why did this happen to me, life sucks, how will I ever get by, someone please help me" card and once you are back on your feet you are never to ask for help like that again. Asking for small help here & there "hey can I borrow $20 to print resumes", "can you give me a ride to work" etc, is perfectly acceptable just don't take my $20 & go spend the day drinking by the pool!

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Apr 1, 2010

Contact Discovery to stop Sarah Palin's Alaska

If you find the letter below difficult to read please click on it to enlarge but don't forget to come back & access the link to sign the petition!























Unfortunately I had to upload this as a photo & none of the links are active so please click here to sign this very important petition!

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So I saw this girl at a party...

Someone sent me this today & it totally reminded me of me so I had to share it!
























From buzzfeed.com
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