"I Calls Em Like I Sees Em!"

Jan 28, 2010

Jessica Simpson silences a meeting with her ass

According to this article on Usmagazine.com Jessica apparently ripped ass in a business meeting she was in to discuss her denim line.  Her mother called her out on it in front of everyone after she let the loud fart go, but by the sound of the article I don't think Jessica even bothered to say "excuse me".  If it were me & I was in a business meeting with a large group of people (corporate or not) and I ripped one I'd certainly apologize or get up and sneak out when I felt it coming...I wouldn't just let it rip & then look around like the dog did it!
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Jan 27, 2010

Movies I watched in the last week

First up is The Invention of Lying starring Ricky Gervais, Jennifer Garner and a bunch of other cool people like Tina Fey & Rob Lowe.  This movie was funny, the premise was original & it's basically the story of a world that doesn't lie (which in and of itself is funny from the get go) & then Mark (Gervais) has a turning point where he lies the first lie ever & to his benefit of course.  The movie continues on the path of "is lying good or is it bad" and Mark is the only one who can do it & they don't even know what to call it since nobody has ever done it before.  Of course there is a bit of a love story tangled up as well as some enlightenment for the people who can't lie because they only see everything at face value as it is, period.  I certainly would recommend this one & it's not a total chick flick so you might be able to get your man to watch it with you...if you have one.  Enjoy!

Next up is Whip It starring Ellen Page, Juliette Lewis, Eve, and Drew Barrymore & this is also her directorial debut.  So first of all I have to give them all a nod for filming in awesome Detroit!!  Next up I would like to say that I really enjoyed this movie which takes place in Austin, TX & is basically about a girl named Bliss (Page) who does pageants because her mom enjoys them but Bliss could really care less.  Anyway, Bliss goes shopping with her mom & sees some of the derby girls at the store & is intrigued by the flier.  Long story short she goes, loves it, tries out & makes the team.  The movie then goes on to build the "oh-no" dilemma & builds some great characters throughout.  All of the derby names are great (kind of like drag queen names), the cast works great together & I just love Drew in this movie too.  Juliette Lewis really plays the shit out of her character but I will say that when she's wearing a deep V top with no bra she looks like a man.  This is definitely not a chick flick, more of a "this is me, not that" kind of story.  Also I'll save you the brain power...the coach is a Wilson brother, if you close your eyes you would swear it's Owen talking but it's not.

Up last is I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell starring Matt Czuchry and this movie is based on the book with the same title by Tucker Max.  First of all let me say that the book is freaking awesome & I totally recommend it.  Next up let me tell you that this movie sucked & I haven't said that about a movie in over 10 years!  There was a very noticeable lack of music & a background score throughout the entire movie.  The book is so damn funny I would laugh out loud to the point of tears even in public & I laughed once during this movie.  The "shits himself in the hotel lobby" scene is funny but that's about it & that scene is in the last quarter of the movie so you can just fast forward through the rest of it...trust me, you'll thank me later.  I really expected this to be funny since the book was funny but in reality this was a drama with some humor thrown in...boo!  I think that adapting the book for the movie was the issue...the book is a collection of short stories & moving that over to a non-short story script just didn't work at all.  They should have made a movie of short stories & just used the best 5 or 6 stories from the book & maybe set it up like the crew was on vacation for a week & each night this is what happened...or something.  Anyway, I would not recommend that you pay to view this movie for any reason...wait until it is on cable.

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Horoscopes for this week!!

It's that time of week again to see what the next 7 days have in store for you!  Come & get your Real Detroit Weekly horoscopes.
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Jan 25, 2010


I was browsing on Sho.com today & was looking at the merchandise they sell that's all related to my favorite TV shows & I ran across this Californication bottle opener & when I clicked to enlarge the image I died laughing.  Of course it is sold out but I think is a great gift for the single (or Hank Moody type) in your life so keep it in mind when their B-day rolls around!

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Jan 21, 2010

"Hope For Haiti Now" Benefit

Hey hey everyone, I just wanted to send a note about the telethon for Haiti that will be on tomorrow at 8 PM EST.  This telethon seems to be airing on most channels, even the cable channels which I think is a good thing though I'll bet the SOAPnet regulars are going to be furious to find out that their Friday PM airing of General Hospital is being preempted.  Anyway, the telethon has an amazing lineup of performances including Beyonce, Madonna, Jay-Z, Justin Timberlake, Stevie Wonder...the goes on and on and not only will you be able to see these performances you will also be able to purchase them on iTunes to help donate to the cause.  If you don't really care for celebrity driven telethons or don't have a TV or iTunes you can still make donations other ways, beginning at Noon on Friday the 22nd EST:

Online - www.hopeforhaitinow.org
Phone - 877-99-HAITI (42484)
Text - Text "GIVE"  to 50555
Mail - Hope For Haiti Now Fund, Entertainment Industry Foundation,
          1201 West 5th Street, Suite T-700, Los Angeles, CA 90017

For the full lineup & all the information regarding the telethon (including all the networks airing it) check out this site.  I don't know about you guys but I made a $5 donation as that's about all I could afford when the earthquake happened & I'm hoping that I'm able to donate more...even if it's only from buying iTunes tracks.  I would also like to mention that on Sunday the 24th all purchases made on Lady Gaga's website as well as every penny made from her concert in NYC that night will all go to the relief efforts in Haiti as well so if you've been thinking about picking up one of her albums why not pay a couple extra bucks on her site & grab it...you'll do yourself a favor & help others in need too!
Photo courtesy cnn.com

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Jan 20, 2010

Real Detroit Horoscopes!!

I keep thinking it's Tuesday due to the holiday this week but I remembered it was Wednesday long enough to post this so enjoy!!
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Jan 15, 2010

Gaga good times!

Leslie & I went & saw Ms. Lady Gaga on Wednesday night at Joe Louis Arena, we had a great view from the suite & I can say 100% for sure that the people watching at this show was better than Black Sabbath, we saw a couple chicks with no pants on, lots of gold lamay, sequins, wigs, adorable gay boys, and a pair of assless chaps...it doesn't get much better than that.  My only complaint about the whole night was when we arrived to our first set of seats & the woman sitting there says "I guess this must be the mom section" WTF is that all about?  She was old enough to be my mom & just because I'm old enough to be someone's mom doesn't mean I am one nor do I look like a "mom", that was like a big fat slap in the face.  Then again maybe it was a mom section because we got upgraded & she didn't.  Anyway, I took lots of photos & while they look cool to me & Leslie you might not think so but I'm still attaching a couple anyway!

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Jan 13, 2010

It's horoscope day!

Don't worry guys, just because I'm super excited to go see Lady Gaga tonight doesn't mean I've forgotten about your horoscope fix! Here they are, your Real Detroit Horoscopes, enjoy!!
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Jan 11, 2010

Movies as of late

So due to the lack of TV currently I've been renting movies as often as possible and I checked out 3 in the last 2 weeks.

First up was The Goods with Jeremy Piven & it was so freaking funny I loved it.  Now, not everyone would find this funny but I did.  If you enjoyed movies like Talledega Nights & Napoleon Dynamite then you will likely love this one too.  I was dying laughing within the first 5 minutes of the movie when the old guy starts off on this rant.  I think my favorite character in the movie was a toss up between Babs & the DJ but you'll have to check it out yourself to see why.

Next I checked out I Want Someone To Eat Cheese With & it was pretty boring.  I figured that since Sarah Silverman was in it there was a good chance it would be funny and really it was kind of sad.  It started off kind of funny or at least with the glimmer that it might get funny & other than a couple laughs it was pretty blah.  It had a good cast but that was about it so I wouldn't recommend this one...unless you're watching it for free on cable & then it wouldn't be so bad.

Last & best was 500 Days of Summer which wasn't what I expected & I really enjoyed it.  Personally I prefer movies that show me the truth rather than filling me with all of this "maybe that will happen for me" bull shit because it's just a big fat lie. I saw so many things in this movie that actually pointed to reality and it ended in reality which I think is why I really truly enjoyed this one.  I didn't have that "I want that" feeling when it ended I had the "man, I've been there" feeling & that was great.  I definitely suggest checking this one out if you haven't already!  Oh, I should also mention that this one has a great soundtrack.
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Jan 6, 2010

Real Detroit Horoscopes!!

Hey ya'll here are your first horoscopes for 2010, I hope they are awesome!!

And since I was sick last week I forgot to post the last horoscopes for 2009 so here those are as well.
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Jan 5, 2010

Office Etiquette, Top 10 for 2010

Listen people, I've worked in all kinds of different environments but there are some standard etiquette basics that pertain to just about any work environment you may be in, granted more so an office environment but I'm sure you can agree with some of these even if you work in retail or a restaurant.  Here is my list of do's & don'ts for working with others in a close environment.

  1. Do not wear more than a spritz of perfume/cologne or overdose on smelly hairspray.
  2. Do wear deodorant & clean clothes or at least clothes that smell clean.
  3. Do not cook fish or other extremely smelly food in the microwave because all foods cooked after that will taste like it.
  4. Do not use speakerphone ever...unless you have your own office or are in a conference room.
  5. Do not leave the ringer on your cell phone jacked up as far as it will go, especially when you often walk away or are on another phone & just let it ring & ring.
  6. If you listen to the radio or watch TV at your desk keep it low or wear headphones because your neighbor might not like Maury.
  7. Unless you have your own office use your low/inside voice during working hours.
  8. Do get your lazy ass up & go speak to the person you need to speak with...don't yell across a sea of cubes to do it.
  9. Don't eat other people's food out of the fridge.
  10. Do not bring your children to work unless it's bring a kid to work day because even though you might enjoy their company I'm going to bet that about 80% of your coworkers really don't appreciate the distraction.
Do you have other office irritants that you would like to stop?  Go ahead, comment & share your do's & don'ts for 2010.

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