"I Calls Em Like I Sees Em!"

Nov 28, 2008

Happy Turkey Day!

Hey everyone, I know I'm a day late but I just wanted to make sure I stopped to wish everyone a very happy Thanksgiving & holiday weekend! My plans for the rest of the weekend are to clean my apartment, put up my very first Christmas tree of my very own and do a little bit of holiday shopping. Of course I'm skipping the mayhem of Black Friday and will be shopping online or on Saturday! This X-mas season I have planned & budgeted perfectly so that I can shop for certain people each pay check & not feel so overwhelmed, this weekend I'll be picking up stuff for Doug & my Dad & finishing up a couple other people & then my next check will be last chance to shop for everyone but I think it will all work out. So make sure you are careful when you are out shopping this weekend & try not to get into any fights trying to get that last Wii or whatever else it is that's selling like hot cakes!!
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Nov 26, 2008

Worst Day of the Year

So today is "bring a kid to work day" and since I have no time left I couldn't take the day off! Luckily we close early & I got free lunch out of the deal but I got here at 8 & the kids were here & by 9 I was ready to jump out the window. The kids were sent on a scavenger hunt through the office, they were sent out into cubeville to rifle through everyone's things & take stuff. I was of course working and up and down printing stuff so I walk out of my cube & there is a large group of kids heading right for me so I stop & they are all looking behind them & 1 walks right into me, WTF? After I moved & got away from them all I can hear is screaming & the thumping of 20 children running around our cubes. Now I know the kids just want to have fun & stuff but (at the risk of sounding like Joe) isn't that a liability? What if that girl had run into me with the hanger in her hand & I got hurt or what if I ran into one of them with a pen & they got hurt? Personally I think bring a kid to work day should be canceled everywhere, because it isn't like the parents actually spend the day with their kids so what the hell is the point in bringing them? To me the day would mean coming to work with your parent & seeing what they do at work to earn the money that buys them all the things they want, not playing with other kids who were also dropped off by their parents who are in their offices working. Kids have much less sense of the importance of working & earning money for the things that they want than we did & it just keeps getting worse. I'm sure all kids aren't like that but my point is that the whole point of bring a kid to work day is totally overlooked these days, the parents seem to just see it as a day that they don't have to pay for day care.
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Nov 24, 2008

My Birthday In Review

Ok so on November 18th (day before my b-day) we headed down to Ford Field to see Madonna, which was a bit of an adventure. Doug gave us a ride & when we were about there some douche bag in a limo tried to cut Doug off in the Yukon, well Doug hit his mirror & then yelled at him out the window while Leslie freaked out in the back seat. As we were exiting the vehicle Wendy wasn't quite out yet & Doug started to drive away, since she didn't get hurt this was hysterical. We approached Ford Field & noticed giant lines which we separated & got into. Leslie had main floor while Wendy & I had "the cheap seats" so we figured out what was going on & started to wait. We waited for about 40 minutes before we got inside which sucked, it was frickin freezing & they only had 1 entrance for main floor & 1 for everyone else. We actually got inside before Leslie & when we arrived at our seats a guy stopped us & told us we had been upgraded! We were moved 2 sections over & a level closer, now this place holds like 60,000 people so we were still a "million miles away" but had a much better angle than we were supposed to. Brian picked us up after which was much easier than the ride down & all ended well. This past weekend me & the girls got together & hit up Backstreet which is the best gay club around not to mention extremely close to Dearborn. Our friend Adam & his boyfriend Brian also met up with us to celebrate a bit! I danced my ass off all night long, there was a mini drag show, I had great company, and V paid for my drinks all night. All in all I'd say it was a great effing birthday & 31 isn't all bad other than the fact that my thighs hurt so bad from dancing all night I have a hard time getting off the couch! Thanks again to everyone for their well wishes, company, and cocktails it was all greatly appreciated!!! If you want to see my pics from my b-day & Madonna click here.
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Oh No They Didn't!!

Heidi & Spencer & his flesh colored beard got married in Cabo on November 20th. First of all, who gets married on a Thursday & 2nd of all she said as soon as they said their vows she couldn't stop crying. You know why? That's right, she knew at that very moment she had made the worst decision ever & that her life was officially over! Apparently she didn't tell her parents but she did call her mom before it went down & said something was up & her mom (because she's smart) asked if they were breaking up! Anyway, Spencer said after Heidi read him some passages from the Bible like "love thy wife" when they were on some Mexican getaway he told her she should start planning their wedding again. Notice how he said she should start planning...I'm sure that is why they eloped, either that or because she totally effing pregnant! Look at that pic, why would she wear a flowy dress when everything she wears is always skin tight? Also, notice how his arms are around her belly? Also, what is with the ring? on her finger...it looks like electrical tape. She has to be pregnant, it looks like her belly is bigger than her boobs & with those implants & her skinny body she must be like 5 months by now!!! Let me point out how they had a "secret" ceremony but of course didn't forget to invite Us Weekly!
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Nov 21, 2008

Banana Bunker or Taco Tickler?

Check out this handy new gadget. Watch the video & how they have a hard time keeping a straight face while discussing the "innovative design" of the gadget. It's completely ridiculous but it is ribbed...so I guess it just may be as "functional" as they say!! I about died when I saw this, I wondered if it was a practical joke & I would just love to see whomever it is that designed this item, she's probably single & loves bananas (huh huh). No wonder it was the talk of the morning & they claim that it's one of those items that you never knew you needed until you had it!!!
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Welcom to the Bronx

Pete Wentz & Ashlee Simpson finally had their baby. They welcomed their son to the world late on Thursday & they named the poor kid Bronx Mowgli Wentz. Everyone is healthy and happy, well I assume the kid won't be happy once he's old enough to figure out that his name is awful. I just don't understand how 2 people that are from Illinois & Texas would name their kid Bronx...it's like the Beckham's naming their kid Brooklyn when they aren't even from the US! That's it, even though I don't like kids I'm gonna have one just so I can name it Hamburg, you know...cause I'm from Detroit, duh. These celebs & their jacked up baby names are really getting on my nerves!!!!
photo: wire image & clipart
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Nov 19, 2008

Happy Birthday, Have A Ticket

So Doug & I go out to breakfast this morning & as we are pulling back up at the house what is waiting for me? That's right an effing ticket! Umm, excuse me, what the hell is this for? Well, this apparently is for parking on the side street on the 3rd garbage day of the month when they say they are picking up leaves but don't or some such shit. Well guess what assbag...I don't live here, there are no signs posted ANYWHERE along my route to this house so how in the hell would I know about this stupid law? What, do they think that I get the Press & Guide to keep up on my laws & rules even though I no longer live here? This my friend is what I call bull-shit & thankfully, Doug offered to take care of it because I'm sorry, I'm not paying a ticket for some rule that I don't know exists, that there is no proof of anywhere, and that didn't exist when I lived here less than one year ago. I don't think it is even the slightest bit ok to ticket a non-resident for a non-posted law that they unknowingly disobeyed. Oh, and they gave me a ticket on my birthday about 5 years ago as well, for parking in a closed bank window station along with 3 other cars who didn't get a ticket. This city can go f**k its face :)
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Wednesday, November 19th

Today is my birthday & my plans are to spend it with the people I love the most...waiters. I am having breakfast with Doug, lunch with Leslie, and dinner with my family & I'm so looking forward to it. We are obviously running behind schedule as I wanted to eat breakfast about an hour ago but that's ok, I'll just have a small lunch :) Anyway, I'm off to start my full day of grazing. Cheers to everyone & I'll post all about Madonna later or tomorrow.
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Horoscopes for the week

Hey all, just wanted to share the horoscopes for this week from Real Detroit, enjoy :)
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Nov 17, 2008

Sunday Sunday Sunday

Yesterday myself & the ladies (Megan, Leslie, Amy, Shell) all went to the Woodbridge Pub downtown in Detroit for brunch. The brunch menu was fairly large and we all had something different. I had an omelet with ham & cheddar, Amy had these whole grain banana pancakes that were delicious & Shell had a Mexican omelet dish that was also tasty. I don't remember what Megan or Leslie had because I didn't taste theirs but I don't think any of us left anything on our plates, well, except for Shell but she can't eat that much. Anyway, not only was the food good but they also have $11 bottomless mimosas & boy oh boy did we get our $11 worth! I think our total bill for 4 meals & 5 mimosas was $96 which really isn't bad at all & we were there for 3 hours. I loved the atmosphere especially due to the absolutely random location. We took 94 to Trumbull, turned right & it was right there, across from the Wayne State athletic fields. I would definitely recommend this to anyone who likes mimosas & or brunch...it's a great little place & they got pretty busy closer to 1 & 2 so I hope it stays that way & they stay open for years to come. Even though we weren't there for it they do also have lunch and dinner & other drinks. I can see this being a very regular place for me, especially in the summer!!
photo courtesy of freep.com
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Out of My Element

So Friday night my sugar daddy "D" took me out for my b-day & our stripper friend's b-day as well. Our friend was working so we went to her adult establishment to celebrate, when we got there the place was busy but not packed. We ordered a bottle of Moet & some strawberries & kicked back & watched some boobs on the stage, well except when this one girl was up there...she seriously had no tits at all, not even mosquito bites, she only had nips. Her "top" looked like a shoelace tied around her chest...it was the most bizarre thing ever! Anyway, so a couple of D's friends meet up with us & get some food & we have anther bottle of Moet. His brother & his girl meet up with us as well & we chilled for a little bit then decide to go to another adult establishment. We arrive at said establishment & I see a couple girls out front that I had met before & say my hello's & what not then head in because I have to pee really bad. Well, I come out of the potty & find my group and as I find a place to stand (the place was busting at the seams) I look around & realize that I am 1 of 4 white people in the bar. Obviously I don't have issues with black people because I was with a large group of black people & I was the "light skinned girl" but I can say that I have never felt so out of place. I had heard about things like "making it rain" and "making it clap" and other things of the sort in (God this will make me sound so white) rap songs and in movies but I had never actually been part of it. Just imagine sitting in a booth in a strip club and having dollar bills all over you, the booth, the table, the floor, in the air, like for real "raining dollars". Thankfully my girl Michelle had told me in the past that it's considered a major faux pas if you pick up that money & keep it so I just kept collecting it & sitting it on the table. As much time as I spend with my sugar daddy I guess it just never occurred to me that he would keep things "white" when we hung out but I guess he had. Luckily we were only there for an hour but he apologized a couple times for the atmosphere & I told him I didn't care, yes I was uncomfortable & felt awkward but I didn't feel threatened or anything. I still plan on hanging out with "D" often, but the next time he suggests that place I'm saying "hell to the naw D". Obviously I don't mind being dragged to strip clubs because I never have to pay but I guess I have to draw lines occasionally because there are certain situations that just aren't fun for me, even if I'm not paying.
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Nov 14, 2008

Office Mugs!

For all of you office fans out there I don't know if you spotted it last night during the show but they are now selling the mugs that Kelly gave to everyone at her "America's Got Talent" party that Jim & Dwight didn't attend. I went through & checked them all out & there is a mug for everyone except Jim & Dwight since they didn't go & of course there is no Pam either because she was in NY. I also noticed the absence of Oscar although I thought he went to the party. Anyway, it was a very tough decision of which mug to purchase for myself but I think I've settled on Stanley. Not only do I love him because he doesn't give a shit but that mug with his face on it is freaking priceless & hysterical. I was going to get the "Kelly" mug for obvious reasons but it's just nowhere near as funny as the Stanley mug!!
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Nov 13, 2008

Top Chef New York

So, the new season of Top Chef started last night & I of course watched it! I think this season is going to be a goody. None of the dishes that were served yesterday were gross & usually there are a couple that are cooked so poorly they can barely be eaten. I was somewhat bummed with the 2 eliminations yesterday though, the girl who got popped off before they even went to the kitchen was kind of annoying because she thought so highly of herself so I wasn't too sad to see her go, but her gay boyfriend on the other hand...I hearted him & was totally bummed to see him sliced. He totally screwed himself over though, using those black rice noodles was not a good choice since he had never cooked with them before. Even I know that though you want to woo the judges right out of the gate it's not wise to use something you are not familiar with. Now the dude that won both the quickfire & the challenge (Stefan) is the most obnoxious prick I've seen in a long time. Him & the other foreigner...they both suck, big time & they think their shit don't stink so the sooner both of them are gone the better. Let's keep our fingers crossed that this season isn't like most of them where the winner of the first challenge wins the whole thing because I don't think I can put up with that dude much longer nor do I want him having the satisfaction of being the winner. I do like the dude from Hawaii, Gene I think his name is, but it's way too early to tell who is good & who isn't.
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Nov 11, 2008

Serena Vanderwoodsen

Ok people, this chick has got to stop dressing like such a WHORE! Leslie & I can't believe the way she dresses. Her skirts are so short, her tops are so low cut, and she never gets sent home from school...go figure? In the photos on the right, the first one is the doozie of an outfit that she wore to meet the Dean of Yale! The 2nd photo is from the next episode but I believe it's what she is wearing to Thanksgiving dinner with the fam!! Then the 3rd is her in her school uniform!!! I highly doubt the school would allow a student to be walking around looking like that, especially considering that it's a private school & isn't the point of uniforms so everyone looks the same, and not like skanks? It also kills me that nobody seems to notice what she looks like, including her BFF Blair & her mom not to mention her gay brother. Now, I know my gays would never let me leave the house looking the way she does & hers is blood but he still doesn't say a word. I can also say that Wendy would never let me attend a Thanksgiving dinner in a skirt that is so short I couldn't sit in it & I would know better than to interview for anything other than a job at Crazy Horse wearing a super low cut v-neck t-shirt & no bra. I love this show & it's totally the new 90210 & while those girls dressed pretty slutty, it wasn't half this bad...I never saw Kelly Taylor running around Beverly Hills in a slip with her coat wide open!!!
photos courtesy of cw.com
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Nov 10, 2008

Grey's Controversy

Oh boo hoo, everyone is all up in arms because Brooke Smith was fired from Grey's Anatomy. So effing what? Her character was not very appealing & people are saying she was fired because her character was a lesbian...I don't think so. She was fired because she's not hot enough to be on the show, lesbian or not, Brooke is ugly & ugly people don't make a show money. Since the beginning of season 3 this show has started going down the toilet slowly, I stopped watching it as did a couple other people I know who used to be addicted to it like I was. It has nothing to do with the lack of Dr. Burke or the lack of Brooke Smith, it's the lack of entertainment the show has.

Isiah Washington made some comments about Brooke being fired & the most amusing part is this "The fact is that, just before the holidays, you have a mother, a wonderful actress removed from a steady income without the proper reasoning behind it..." Seriously? Come the eff on!! I'm going to guess that in probably 1 episode she made more than I do in a year so I wouldn't be too concerned about her being able to buy presents for her family for X-mas!!! He also seems to think that if they brought his character back he would "save the show", I say leave good enough alone dude, the show is a piece of shit & I wouldn't even want to be on it & boy could I use the money!!!
photo wireimage.com
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Rude Awakening

So here in the glorious mitten of Michigan we woke today with effing snow on the ground. Wendy called me last night to alert me to the snow falling & I notified Leslie right away...we were all disgusted but figured that it would be done before morning. So I awake today & assume that the snow will be melted but nope, it was actively snowing. My car was covered, the ground was not so it wasn't too bad but it was bad enough! Luckily I have a remote start on my car so I didn't have to clean it off or anything but it took me 40 minutes to get to work. Every single over pass/bridge/on-off ramp was covered in ice & there were at least 20 accidents this morning. Lucky for me I only hit 2 overpasses & never get on the freeway to get to work. I did have to wait quite a while just to get to Grand River but once I was on 10 mile traffic was clipping right along. I guess my big question is, why was no salt dropped on the overpasses & what not to prevent this from happening? I'm guessing it's because the dudes who do that for a living haven't started yet because it's WAY TOO EARLY for snow!!! I hate winter, I hate snow, I hate freezing rain & all the other bull shit that we get for about 8 months out of the year. Every year I say this will be my last winter here & I end up staying here anyway...I think it's high time to start looking for a transfer to a better climate!
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Nov 7, 2008

Still Annoyed With New iGoogle

I love Google & iGoogle but what I don't like is the new "improved" iGoogle. Improved is quite a stretch here because I can't stand it!! With the new version your tabs are on the left rather than on the top & I have no idea how they think this "improves" anything! All of my gadgets are all smooshed up and instead of being a small box they are now a long rectangle which prevents me from even looking at half of them because I hate having to scroll and scroll just to read my horoscope. With the old version I was able to arrange all of my gadgets so I could see everything on the screen at the same time, that is no longer an option. The one good thing I can say about the new iGoogle is the new gmail preview which is fairly great because you can delete things without having to open them but you cannot click links or add attachments so you still have to go to full gmail for that which is also annoying. I say let us have the option of having the tabs on the top, side, or bottom...why only give us one option? Why call this improved when it does nothing except irritate 80% of the users?
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Nov 6, 2008


I have nothing to say today so have a nice day kids & enjoy this final day of amazing weather here in the D!
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Nov 5, 2008

RDH For This Week!

Your Real Detroit Horoscope

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2 Things I Wanted To Discuss

1. I have to admit that John McCain gave an excellent speech when he lost, it was very admirable the way he handled it & no I didn’t exactly expect him to come out & start yelling that Barack won by mistake or that he wanted a recount or anything. I’m sure he was super upset when he lost, how could he not be upset, that would really suck but he took it like a man & that is very responsible. I would like to say though that Sarah was crying & that’s not a shocker, she is a woman after all & we all know that us women are overemotional crazy bitches which is probably the main reason that Hilary didn’t make it to the election. Side bar, I wonder if Hilary would have beat McCain…I’m going to assume not, but now that we have made such amazing history I think I will see a female President in my lifetime. Ok, back to Sarah, I will admit that as I was laying in bed fighting to stay awake to see Barack’s speech I watched John’s & when they showed Sarah crying I said aloud “you’re upset because you know this is your fault” and I think it’s true. Had McCain had a different running mate this election could have played out completely different, but he didn’t & it didn’t, it played out the way I was hoping & I’m still completely elated!!

2. Kim, the white bitch on Real Housewives of Atlanta is the most annoying person on TV right now. This show, is hilarious to say the least & not because it’s funny but because of these women. For those of you who don’t watch it, there are 5 women on the show & 1 is white. There is 1 cute girl who is far too friendly & nice & always sees the good in people, the crazy broad who is always loud & who’s giant tits are always blazing, 1 uptight snob ass bitch who thinks she is better than everyone else & deserves a 7 figure settlement from her divorce, and then another girl who talks like she has her jaw wired shut which severely irritates me and then there is Kim. Kim is the white girl & her tits are always blazing too, she has blonde hair that looks like doll hair (obvious weave), a man who is referred to as “big poppa” because he’s a celebrity & doesn’t want to be identified on the show, and at least 1 kid. So this bitch thinks she has what it takes to become the next hot country singer and let me tell you that she can’t carry a tune in a bucket let alone sell even 1 record. So on lasts nights episode she meets up with her boy Dallas Austin (producer) to lay down her first track. She rolls into the studio in white pants, a white top, and a white top hat…she looked like a fool but right before she started recording she says “how does my hair look”, as if that matters…you look like an asshole & to answer the question, it looks like you shaved Barbie’s head & glued the hair to yours! Luckily, after she recorded her song she listened to it & heard just how awful she was & that she would have to continue seeing her voice coach who did say to her “you have no idea what you are doing”. I can’t wait to see what happens from here because this show is insane, by far the most dramatic of all of the Housewives shows. If you haven’t seen it be sure to catch reruns on Bravo!!

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So let me complain about something that really gets on my nerves these days. Well, it’s always gotten on my nerves; not just lately but as of late it seems to be popping up more. So, I hate waiting on other people to my job. I send an email that is a simple yes or no question & I don’t get a response for 2 or 3 days so here I am sitting on some task waiting on someone else so I can finish it & I can’t stand that!! For example, I sent an email to someone Monday saying “do you want me to do this or that” and I didn’t hear back so I resent it on Tuesday and still no response so then I hear from their partner that they are pissed this isn’t completed yet; well guess what dude? So am I! This person who has not responded does this often then will get all up my ass wanting to know why this isn’t done & it’s always their lack of response that is holding up the job. So what do I do? Do I say, umm asshole, if you would have responded to my email this would have been done days ago? It is just extremely irritating to look in my inbox & see items in it that I can’t close out, I don’t like that at all!!!!! I also can’t stand the blame game and that’s not what I’m trying to play here but I’m just wondering if I should notify the partner of the person who is slacking so they don’t assume that I’m not doing my job or just let it go. What do you think?
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Nov 4, 2008

Hell Yes!!!

Barack Obama has been elected the 44th President of The United States, history has been made not to mention the fact that he blew McCain out of the water! This is the second time that the person I voted for has won the election, but I tell you, it feels way better this time than it did the last! Don't get me wrong I loved Bill Clinton but it was his second term, this election, I voted for a big change and I effing got it!!!! Congrats Amercia for coming out in record numbers & electing Barack Obama as your representative for the next 4 years and maybe more. Cheers!!
print screen courtesy of cnn.com
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Get your happy ass to the polls & vote! Make sure you get your "I voted" sticker & go to Starbucks for a free coffee & Krispy Kreme for a free donut!! Those free items alone were totally worth standing in line over an hour to cast my vote at 7 this morning.
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Nov 3, 2008

Tuesday November 4th

Tomorrow is the day that you can all vote to make a change. Make sure you get your happy ass to the polls & cast your vote for Barack Obama! If you choose to vote for McCain that is your right, but if he wins, I will hold you personally responsible for my misery. Regardless of your choice though, it is extremely important that you get to the polls and vote. If you do not vote, you do not have the right to complain about anything that has to do with the government...you don't want that do you? I know I don't!!
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Hairstylist Gets Hit by Photag

Ok so I get this headline in my daily Us report & I check the article & read it to find out that poor Ken Paves (hairstylist to the stars) was rushed to the hospital after being hit in the face with a camera while exiting some restaurant with Jessica Simpson. I felt so bad for Ken, as the article said that he was rushed to the hospital because blood was trickling down his face, then I clicked on the link to the video of the "chaos" and there were photos of Ken's face posted ahead of the video. I died laughing when I saw the "injury", dude, it looks like a paper cut, no joke...it's a very small cut with a little blood present & they went to the ER? WTF? I then watched the video & you can't even see the injury take place, you just see Ken wiping blood off of his forehead when he gets in the car. That must be what you get for hanging out with a washed up celeb & her annoying friend Casey. The funniest part of the whole thing is the title of the article that has the photos & video. Click here for the photos, video, and stupid article title.
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